January 7th, 2007  

Topic: Colours.

Once upon a time, when I was a very young Stoker on the HMAS Sydney, the Engineering department dayworkers used to fall in, up in the Port Frd boat space at about 0755 every day, where the Office staff (non watchkeeping Engineers, Chief stoker etc) used to fall us in for Colours,... y'know, all that Navy stuff,... call us all to attention, Salute!!, all that silly sailor stuff, they would then detail us off for our respective duties and we would be dismissed to go to our jobs.

Well in advance of the promulgated time most of us hairy a*ses would all be, standing around in our overalls, ready to get fell in, with the exception of the Engineering Officer's writer, one J.B. (Irish) O'XXXXXXX, who was, without fail, always the last to arrive usually jumping into the formation just as we were being called to attention. This used to really get up the Chief stokers nose (Titch WXXXXX, an "exciteable" little man if there ever was one) and he would generally be fairly excited by the time Irish arrived, but rarely could get time to rip a strip off him until after the ceremonials had finished by which time he had cooled down a little, and he was too busy allocating us off to our daywork jobs.

On this particular morning things were progressing as usual, and Irish was cutting it fine, "Righto you blokes get fell in" says the Chief, and Irish can be seen approaching in the distance,from the direction of the Stoker's Mess impeccably dressed in his clean starched whites (Engineers's writer's perk).

Whilst cutting between the assembled staff and us "rabble", Irish, sensing the humour of his late arrival decides to do a little skip while passing the chief at the same time, cocking his leg and letting go a big f*rt.

It all went well until Irish attempted to let'er rip..... A great gout of curry coloured sh*t shot down his leg and onto the deck just as eight bells is sounded. I can't honestly remember if anyone was called to attention or not, but I can guarantee that no one was able to salute as Engineers, Staff and assembled Stokers staggered about the deck holding their sides with laughter.

Irish arrived at 0750 next morning, very subdued.
January 7th, 2007  
January 8th, 2007  
Great one!
January 18th, 2007  
Here's to Irish

BTW, there's an Irish on every ship, in every battalion, and in most RAAF bases.
January 21st, 2007  
Team Infidel
very nice indeed