12 Step Program For Recovering Marines

12 Step Program For Recovering Marines
August 31st, 2006  

Topic: 12 Step Program For Recovering Marines

12 Step Program For Recovering Marines
12 Step Program For Recovering Marines
1. I am a Marine, and I have a problem. Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery...
2.Speech * Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400. It is 5:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early). *Words like deck, rack, and "PT" will get you weird looks; it's floor, bed, and work out. Get used to it. *"****" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try"um". *Grunting is not talking.. *It's a phone , not a radio. Conversations on a phone do not end in "out" or "over".
3. Style *Do not put creases in your jeans. *Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts. *A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating. *A hat indoors don't make you a bad person; it makes you like the rest of the world. * You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.
4. Women * Air Force girls are easy, very easy. Not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls. * Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages even if it is your first. *Marrying a girl so you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.
5. Personal Accomplishments * In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job. * Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die. *How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment. * The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.
6. Drinking * In the real world, being drunk before 5 pm will get you intervention, not a "good for you". * That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter. *That time you went to the combat medic school and practiced giving vodka IV's will also not be a good conversation starter.
7. Bodily Functions * Farting on your co-workers and then giggling will be viewed as "unprofessional". * The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how bad it smelled. * You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is. VD will also not be funny. * Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.
8. Spending Habits * One day you will have to pay bills. * Buying a $30, 000 car on a $16, 000 a year salary is a bad idea. * Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool. * One day you will need health insurance.
9. Interacting with Civilians (AKA You) * Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.
10. Real Jobs * They really can fire you. * On the flip side, you really can quit.| * Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal. Remember they can quit too. * Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
11.The Law * Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison. * Your workplace (unlike your Command) can't save you and probably won't. In fact, most likely you will be fired 5 minutes after they found out you've been arrested. * Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to get you the job. * Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask if you won.
12. General Knowledge * You can, in fact, say what you think about the President in public. * Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain. * They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite. * Read the contracts before you sign them; remember what happened the first time...
OK it might be up here but I did run a search
September 1st, 2006  
Team Infidel
I have been told... once a Marine... always a Marine.
September 1st, 2006  
Rob Henderson
Hahaha...Those are pretty darn funny.
12 Step Program For Recovering Marines
September 1st, 2006  
well i agree with infidel once a marine always a marine
September 5th, 2006  
hats are allowed inside?...ill have to read the regulations on that one :P
September 6th, 2006  
haw haw, good one Sweetie
September 6th, 2006  
Nice one.
September 10th, 2006  
Good one!
March 1st, 2007  
I liked it!

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