Would you support her or not?

You on the other hand, would you:

  • A) stay with her as you do actually like her and the baby is both your responsibility.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • B) Stay with her only for the baby.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • C) tell her to abort as you don't want a child.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • D) Tell her your standby on what ever she wants.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
I would Choose C, Because I dont want a Child, and I wouldnt be sleeping with any Girl who wanted to get pregnant, Its not good for the Kid to have a Father who Wishes he was aborted and a mother who didnt want to be Pregnant. however If It was a long term Relationship, then I would be more supportive, but the way the question sounds it seems like a one night stand or a 2nd date.....
 
hello

Ed said:
I would Choose C, Because I dont want a Child, and I wouldnt be sleeping with any Girl who wanted to get pregnant, Its not good for the Kid to have a Father who Wishes he was aborted and a mother who didnt want to be Pregnant. however If It was a long term Relationship, then I would be more supportive, but the way the question sounds it seems like a one night stand or a 2nd date.....

1) it states "a girl you have been seeing for a few weeks" which is not a 1 night stand or 2 dates.

2) If your mature enough to stick it in then be mature enough to face what the actions will entale.

Do what you think is right but no one should disband the fact they have made a life. To abort I think you need good enough reason.
 
Anya1982 said:
This is a question to see how a man would react:

A girl you have been seeing for a few weeks tells you she is pregnant. Also that she wants abortion as she can't financal support her or the baby.

You on the other hand, would you:

A) stay with her as you do actually like her and the baby is both your responsibility.

B)Stay with her only for the baby.

C) tell her to abort as you don't want a child.

D) Tell her your standby on what ever she wants.
I didn't see one very obvious option -- "Encourage her to have the baby and then put it up for adoption." This scenario his very close to home for me. My wife and I are not capable of having children on our own. We both love children and I have no doubt that we would make wonderful parents.

If a couple in that situation truly believe that they have the compatability and the right stuff to stick together, okay great. Good for them. Get married, keep the baby and hopefully everything works out best. Statistically, this scenario has a pretty lousy success rate. About 90% of those couples end up getting divorced or splitting up. This eventually leads to the child that brought them together becoming the object of endless feuds and court battles. No child would want to have to live through that mess. They shouldn't have to either.

Okay, so the young man involved decided he isn't going to stick with the mother. They hardly know each other after all. How can it work? Keeping the baby seems like the responsible thing to do for that mother, in many people's opinion. I disagree. Especially if she is very very young, she pretty much guaranteed that she cannot pursue her own dreams anymore. She doesn't have time. She's trying to be mommy and daddy at the same time, and in whatever time is left, she is trying to earn enough money to feed and clothe herself and her child. Not much wiggle room there for such pursuits as a career, an education and finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with. The sacrifice is very noble and all, but why do it if you don't actually have to?

Based on all of that, the best option you offered was abortion in the vast majority of cases. But consider something: For every couple that opts for the abortion, that is one more child that my wife and I cannot have. One more child that we could have loved as our own for a llifetime. Make a long story short, I really hate abortion. If you are so sure you don't want your baby, can I ask a favor? Instead of killing it, can my wife and I have it PLEASE??
 
When this happened in the 50's and 60's in Texas, you had better do the right thing (what her Dad thinks) or put a lot of highway between yourself and that particular place. As I've said before "he needed killing" is a defense for murder in Texas. :)

Seriously, I know of a girl in our class in High School who got pre....pre....pre, with child, and the Father made tracks. A fine young man married her and adopted the boy. They're still together. That was just our mindset back then.
 
Missileer said:
Seriously, I know of a girl in our class in High School who got pre....pre....pre, with child, and the Father made tracks. A fine young man married her and adopted the boy. They're still together. That was just our mindset back then.
The truest statement is that you never say that one choice is always the right answer. A young woman in this situation needs to decide what is best for herself. Nobody can tell her what the right answer is.

I still hate abortion. Since it is legal, that means it is an option for unplanned pregnancies. I hate the fact that placing your child up for adoption isn't even worth a seconds worth of consideration, but abortion is ALWAYS one of the first things anyone thinks of. "Sara got pregnant!! Oh my, what will she do? Will she get an abortion or keep it?" But never, "Do you think she'll put the baby up for adoption?" It just kills me. You have no idea how badly.
 
Missileer said:
When this happened in the 50's and 60's in Texas, you had better do the right thing (what her Dad thinks) or put a lot of highway between yourself and that particular place. As I've said before "he needed killing" is a defense for murder in Texas. :)

Lol I love this one...especially that part about putting a lot of highway between you and daddy.
 
godofthunder9010 said:
Anya1982 said:
This is a question to see how a man would react:

A girl you have been seeing for a few weeks tells you she is pregnant. Also that she wants abortion as she can't financal support her or the baby.

You on the other hand, would you:

A) stay with her as you do actually like her and the baby is both your responsibility.

B)Stay with her only for the baby.

C) tell her to abort as you don't want a child.

D) Tell her your standby on what ever she wants.
I didn't see one very obvious option -- "Encourage her to have the baby and then put it up for adoption." This scenario his very close to home for me. My wife and I are not capable of having children on our own. We both love children and I have no doubt that we would make wonderful parents.

If a couple in that situation truly believe that they have the compatability and the right stuff to stick together, okay great. Good for them. Get married, keep the baby and hopefully everything works out best. Statistically, this scenario has a pretty lousy success rate. About 90% of those couples end up getting divorced or splitting up. This eventually leads to the child that brought them together becoming the object of endless feuds and court battles. No child would want to have to live through that mess. They shouldn't have to either.

Okay, so the young man involved decided he isn't going to stick with the mother. They hardly know each other after all. How can it work? Keeping the baby seems like the responsible thing to do for that mother, in many people's opinion. I disagree. Especially if she is very very young, she pretty much guaranteed that she cannot pursue her own dreams anymore. She doesn't have time. She's trying to be mommy and daddy at the same time, and in whatever time is left, she is trying to earn enough money to feed and clothe herself and her child. Not much wiggle room there for such pursuits as a career, an education and finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with. The sacrifice is very noble and all, but why do it if you don't actually have to?

Based on all of that, the best option you offered was abortion in the vast majority of cases. But consider something: For every couple that opts for the abortion, that is one more child that my wife and I cannot have. One more child that we could have loved as our own for a llifetime. Make a long story short, I really hate abortion. If you are so sure you don't want your baby, can I ask a favor? Instead of killing it, can my wife and I have it PLEASE??

So D is not "standing by what ever she wants"? that could mean....adoption/abortion/keep[ing it. Switch on lofty lol
 
Anya1982 said:
So D is not "standing by what ever she wants"? that could mean....adoption/abortion/keep[ing it. Switch on lofty lol
Well, your scenario says that the mother wants an abortion, so we already know what she wants. My thought is the following might have been a good option:
E.) Encourage her to have the baby and put it up for adoption.

I'm curious, until I mentioned it, how many people actually thought of adoption as an alternative?
 
I have not voted because I would not have done anything of the things described above. :lol:

Doc.S
:viking:
 
i dunno

I could not grow attached to the baby in me then give birth and not see it again. I know sounds horride but I'd rather abort than give up for adoption!

But then again like I said before it depends on what situation is at play at the time!

I mean think of it like this, your carrying something for 9 months and knowing some other family is going to have that baby you so desperately tried not to get attached to, it would make me so sick by end of pregancy!
 
Re: i dunno

Anya1982 said:
I could not grow attached to the baby in me then give birth and not see it again. I know sounds horride but I'd rather abort than give up for adoption!

But then again like I said before it depends on what situation is at play at the time!

I mean think of it like this, your carrying something for 9 months and knowing some other family is going to have that baby you so desperately tried not to get attached to, it would make me so sick by end of pregancy!
Who said the adoptive parents are not going to let the biological mother be involved in the child's life? I personally feel that she ought to have as much of a role as she wants, but limited to not having the full rights of parentage.
 
Anya1982 said:
This is a question to see how a man would react:

A girl you have been seeing for a few weeks tells you she is pregnant. Also that she wants abortion as she can't financal support her or the baby.

You on the other hand, would you:

A) stay with her as you do actually like her and the baby is both your responsibility.

B)Stay with her only for the baby.

C) tell her to abort as you don't want a child.

D) Tell her your standby on what ever she wants.

You forgot option: E) Dissappear, like in magic tricks. ;)
 
ll

most adoptions in UK you are not allowed contact with the child unless said so and chances of that are little these days. If I was to have a baby it would be for me to love and raise not some one else. Mind you people have different views all together.

And the ooption E to do a bunk...........if your military and the bird is switched on CSA is always an git to clamp on the guy and advice, come to an arrangement before she clamps you as CSA being enforced will cost more if you don't give.
 
I would stay with her, but if I had only been with her a few weeks we wouldn't have had sex, because I take things slowly and smoothly, so it wouldn't be mine, nor would I want the child.
 
I think that I couldn't abort my own kid. Or give up the kid for adoption. So my choice is A. The thing is if it isn't my kid. I don't want to raise someone else's child as long as I am still capable of having my own kids. That's not to be cruel or anything but that is the way that my dad has taught me to look at these types of things. Since the girl in question has been with me for only a few weeks the possibility of the child being not fathered by me would be a major concern for me. But if, I really do like the girl and the kid is mine then I would do anything to have him/her be brought up in a good enviornment even if it would mean not going in the Army and heavily depending on my parents financially.
 
Re: ll

Anya1982 said:
most adoptions in UK you are not allowed contact with the child unless said so and chances of that are little these days. If I was to have a baby it would be for me to love and raise not some one else. Mind you people have different views all together.
I guess that I can't conceive of the thought process. It goes something like this: "I cannot bear to let anyone else have this child, so I am going to kill it. After all it would be too much of an inconvenience to my life."

That basis of thinking brings a Bible story to mind. Remeber the one about the baby with two mothers claiming it was theirs? Solomon instructed that the baby be cut in two and half should be given to each woman. The concept outlined for abortion being better than adoption essentially agrees that Solomon should have actually followed through with hacking that baby in two. "If I can't have it for myself, nobody can!!" All roads lead back to selfishness.

On the point about whether the biological mother can see her child, most adoption agencies in the USA have come to a stunning conclusion: Nobody involved appreciated it when you legally enforced a policy of no contact with the biological mother. These days, things are rapidly moving toward a more flexible system where the expecting mother can choose who adopts her baby and the adoptive parents can allow her to have a role in the life of her child if she chooses to. Many choose not to, but they have the option anyways. The adoptive parents are empowered to decide on how much of a role that the mother has. If her presence is unhealthy for the child -- lets say we are talking about a biological mother who is an alchoholic and/or drug addict and/or something along those lines. Well then, her presence is a detriment and not a benefit.
 
Deciding to put your baby up for adoption is the hardest thing anyone will ever have to do. I, for one, have decided against it. Not because I'm selfish but because I have friends who get bounced from one home to another because their parents put them up for adoption, and I don't want that to happen. As for abortion, I had thought of it in the beginning but decided against it. If I were a man :lol: I would support her in what ever she chose (but most younger men bail when the tough gets going).
 
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