Words Women Use

FreyaCat

Active member
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks, this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING
This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “five minutes” and end with “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (With raised eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (Normal eyebrows)
This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “five minutes” when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not! Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks a lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
 
Each one of this is true...

I get this from the missus everytime...

And those killer questions... "Do I look fat?" is a favourite of hers...

What sort of response was she expecting? Once I answered with this remark- As compared to what?

The stitches only was removed after 6 days...
 
Each one of this is true...

I get this from the missus everytime...

And those killer questions... "Do I look fat?" is a favourite of hers...

What sort of response was she expecting? Once I answered with this remark- As compared to what?

The stitches only was removed after 6 days...

AHAHAHAHA!!! Go Mrs Viper! :p
I probably would've given the same response to your answer :D

The CORRECT answer would've been - "No, you look beautiful." (At least in my books)
 
AHAHAHAHA!!! Go Mrs Viper! :p
I probably would've given the same response to your answer :D

The CORRECT answer would've been - "No, you look beautiful." (At least in my books)

Et tu, Freya... :-?

That is just it... I cannot say that with a straight face...:mrgreen:
 
Coming home from work one evening in UK I saw a flower stall by the side of the road, I pulled over and bought the missus a bunch of roses. I got home, gave the flowers to the wife and the first words out of her mouth was "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??" And she wasn't kidding, she was serious. I took the flowers out of her hands and threw them in the rubbish, I put my coat on and went for a pint or ten at the pub.

To this day I have never bought her another bunch and neither will I.
 
AHAHAHAHA!!! Go Mrs Viper! :p
I probably would've given the same response to your answer :D

The CORRECT answer would've been - "No, you look beautiful." (At least in my books)

Really I went with with "Yes but only from behind" and I have never been asked that question again so I count that as an "I win" moment.

You have also missed the infamous "It's up to you" statement which is the female version of Clint Eastwoods "Go ahead punk make my day".
 
The fairer sex...:) we men. are always on the receiving end.

One time, I remembered, we were strolling in the mall, we past by a women apparel shop. My wife took a liking for a nightgown that was on display. Frankly, it was a sexy kinda outfit. She actually asked me, "What if you come back from work, and when you open the front door and you see me dressed in that dress. What would you say?"

I told her, "The first thing that would pop out of my mouth would be- Were you expecting anyone one else?"

I slept on the couch for the next two days...
 
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Ifwomenruledtheworld.jpg
 
And what would happen if two world leaders (women) have PMS at the same time?

They'd probably throw a huge party and spend the ENTIRE night lurking with their respective allies and uttering scathing insults about the other's poor sense of fashion.
 
Hahaha, at least you guys have it figured out. (I'm a girl, and I won't even deny that this is all true... and hilarious. But you guys can be confusing, too!)
 
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