Words Women Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks, this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING
This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “five minutes” and end with “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (With raised eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (Normal eyebrows)
This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “five minutes” when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not! Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks a lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
I always thought this was a bit of a joke, a stretch...some of them are, but some of them, like the "go ahead: raised eyebrows" are TOTALLY true. :read::whip::D
 
men... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when we really DID have a *man cave*, ate raw meat, scratched our butts, belched and were content... life was good, we took turns bronto-hunting and grab-azzing -- then there was that dark and stormy night when that strange critter entered our realm. It looked like us, smelled strange and different somehow; we let it stay.

THEN IT HAPPENED!!! --- we allowed it to speak.

You all know the rest of the story.:cry:
 
And what would happen if two world leaders (women) have PMS at the same time?

then you will find that there is a sudden surge of men citizens sleeping in the parks.. bus-stops... train stations... airports...

There will be a sudden surge in the sales of fast food as the womenfolks will be busy supporting their Great Leader... the men has to fend for themselves:peace:
 
They did send her to Northern Ireland during "the troubles"..... ;)

Too bad for the IRA...

I can just imagine the IRA- big, husky men scampering for cover, yelling in terror at the top of their lungs... Forget the SAS, the Brits have sent thier ultimate weapon... we are doomed!...:drill:
 
Hahaha, at least you guys have it figured out. (I'm a girl, and I won't even deny that this is all true... and hilarious. But you guys can be confusing, too!)

We are suppose to be confusing, my dear... but your ladies think you got us figured out, and when you cannot do that, you blame us...

Adam did asked God once, "Why did you make Eve beautiful?"

God replied," So that you will love her.."

Adam then responded, "OK, but why did you make her silly?"

God said, "Is it not obvious, Adam?- so that she will love you...".
 
We are suppose to be confusing, my dear... but your ladies think you got us figured out, and when you cannot do that, you blame us...

Adam did asked God once, "Why did you make Eve beautiful?"

God replied," So that you will love her.."

Adam then responded, "OK, but why did you make her silly?"

God said, "Is it not obvious, Adam?- so that she will love you...".

AHAHAHA.....

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and
all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic
snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be
vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger,
faster and like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a
way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and
will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball
about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice
to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but
what's the catch Lord?"

"Well... you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring... so you'll
have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to
be our little secret... you know, woman to woman."
 
AHAHAHA.....

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and
all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic
snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be
vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger,
faster and like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a
way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and
will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball
about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice
to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but
what's the catch Lord?"

"Well... you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring... so you'll
have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to
be our little secret... you know, woman to woman."

God, a woman? That would explain the unpredictable weather pattern we have been experiencing... ;)

On the other hand, I know for certain that Adam was created before Eve. Can you imagine if Eve was created first before Adam. She will be standing behind God telling Him how Adam should be fashioned- all that endless indecisions and arguments...

God will NOT tolerate that...!:rambo:
 
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