A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman, and a Marine, got into an argument about which service is "The Best." The arguing became so heated, that they eventually ended up killing each other. Soon, they found themselves at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. Soon they meet St Peter and decide that only he would be the ultimate source of truth and honesty so they ask him:

"St Peter, which branch of the British Armed Forces is the best?"

St. Peter instantly replies: "I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what he thinks the next time I see him."

Some time later the three of them see St. Peter again and remind him of the question and ask if he was able to find the answer.

Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on St. Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note with glistening gold dust.

St. Peter says to the three men, "Your answer from the Boss. Let's see what he says." St Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and St Peter begins to read it aloud to the four young men:

MEMORANDUM TO SOLDIERS, SEAMEN, MARINES, AND AIRMEN

SUBJECT: Which Military Service Is The Best?

Gentlemen, all the Branches of the Armed Services are 'Honorable and Noble. Each of you serves your country well and with distinction. Being a member of the the Armed Forces of the Crown represents a special calling warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication. Be proud of that.


Yours sincerely,
GOD
Regimental Sergeant Major
Royal Marines (Ret.)

Soldier dies and goes to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, he meets St Peter, "Welcome to Paradise Private Jones, follow me".

"Wait a minute, there better not be any RSMs up here! Twenty two years service as a private, I've had my fill of RSMs!"

"My dear boy, replies St Peter, we have a special part of heaven reserved for you. The bars and clubs are open all the time and it is all free! and no, there are no RSMs in Heaven."

Private Jones' jaw hits the floor! "Lead on!"
Two hours later the proffesional private is in a bar with a never ending bottle of ale in his hand and a gorgeous woman in his arms when in walks the RSM!
"YOU! You 'orrible little man! What do you think you're playing at? I'll have you in the glass house so fast your 'ead will spin! Follow me, NOW!"
For the next six hours poor old private Jones is given one cruddy task after another by what has to be the worst RSM he has ever encountered until he has had enough and storms off to see St Peter.

"Oi! You! You lied!"
"I beg your pardon?" Replys a confused saint.
"You said there were no RSMs up here! I've just been beasted by the worse one I have ever encountered in my 22 years of Army service!"
St Peter shakes his head and smiles.
"My dear chap, thats not the RSM. That was God, he likes to think he's the RSM!"

Ha HA HA HA HA.....

Both jokes are good ones! Cheers, mates...