What's YOUR Best Joke? - Page 2

What's YOUR Best Joke?
October 4th, 2004  
What's YOUR Best Joke?
My best jokes are too wicked to tell them in front of minors.
October 5th, 2004  
Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big.

Now go to sleep.
October 5th, 2004  
C/2nd Lt Robot
Originally Posted by Bootboy82
My best jokes are too wicked to tell them in front of minors.
Well sry for being born young, its not like i had a choice.
What's YOUR Best Joke?
March 18th, 2006  

March 19th, 2006  
The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog.
The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?"
The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"
The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American.
An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong ***** out the window."
March 19th, 2006  
Some will get it and some won't:

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know, and I don't care.

Many I have heard but be danged if I can recall any. Those that I can recall are too risque to post here. Most of the people I work with have a very warped sense of humor and unless it is foul or morbid they do not find it humorous. Meh, their loss.
March 21st, 2006  
Rob Henderson
A blonde and her fiance are walking through the park when her fiance spots a one-eyed dog. "Look at that dog with one eye!" he exclaims. The blonde covers one eye and proceeds to say,"WHERE?!"
March 21st, 2006  
The Cooler King
How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

March 21st, 2006  
This is probably the dumbest joke but every time I hear some one say Its driving me nuts I want to giggle:
This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the pirate says...
Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!

Ok here is my Joke that always gets some laughs:

There was a little girl that went to sit on Santa's lap. Santa asked her what she wanted for christmas and she said "I want a barbie and a GI joe" Santa said "I thought Barbie came with Ken" and without skiping a beat the little girl said "No, She only fakes it with Ken"
March 21st, 2006  
A farmer brought a new young rooster to the farm to help out the older rooster with all the hens. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and said "I'll make you a deal, pick out one hen and she's yours but the rest are mine." The old rooster thought a minute and said, "I'll tell you what, race me around the house three times and if I win, I get all the hens and you get one, if you win, you can have all of them." The young rooster laughed and agreed. The old one said "since you're so young and will probably win anyhow, give me a head start." The younger agreed so the old rooster took of with the younger right on his heels. On the second lap, the young rooster was about to catch the older one when a shotgun blast took him out of the race for good. The farmer walked over and said "Damn, that's the fourth queer rooster I've bought this month."