Alternate Ego #1
Don Juan
Don't laugh, ya ninnys.
I smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, and curse like a sailor. Walk into my office and you're surrounded with guns and military memorabilia.
But under that is the guy who likes candlelight, cuddling on the couch, giving foot rubs, and soft kisses to Barry White tunes in the background. I can go to the rodeo on Saturday and stuff my face with nachos and jalapeños and Budweiser and burp the alphabet - then turn around on Sunday and put on my best (and only) suit, attend a $300/plate dinner and know which wine to choose for my date.
I'm a romantic at heart, a softie - I cry at chick flicks, rescue kittens and bottle feed them back to health (last one died
) and write cheesy love poems in cards to deliver at your work with a rose so your co-workers will be envious. I stand when a lady arrives at and leaves the table, I always hold the door, and I'm known to throw rose petals on the table and my headboard.
Alternate Ego #2
Militant Dissident/Partisan
I want to see a military coup - all politicians thrown out of office, military government installed in its stead, National Guard on every corner shooting looters and thieves. I want radical change in the media. I want the two-party system dissolved and the Electoral College done away with in favor of a 1 voter, 1 vote ticket system. I want universities and colleges to stop teaching bias and start teaching truths. I want UNRESTRICTED firearms in the hands of citizens, with felons being allowed to have their rights restored after an amount of time and judged by a group of their peers.
I want police officers to be taught curriculum in the Constitution, respect to others, and to once again have personal judgment over a situation, rather than mandatory "must arrest" laws. I want the courts to stop seeing frivolous lawsuits and start punishing criminals. I want to see child rapists shot in the town square. I want mandatory attendance at veterans funerals. I want the border to Mexico closed and the border to Canada opened.
(Yeah, at heart I am a radical romantic. Ehh, who said we aren't allowed to be complex?)