UK headlines from the year 2030

February 1st, 2013  
The Highway Man

Topic: UK headlines from the year 2030

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White UK minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK 's third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of LUPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

Britain's deficit 10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration from Asia is the secret to success.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated. Physicists estimate at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country comes forward.

Post Office raises price of stamps to 18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten-year, 75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Supreme Court of Europe rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims now to be held responsible for crime.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in the decade at 95 per cent.

Bradford Muslims win FA Cup Final at, beating Plymouth Hindu Hornets 4-1. FA rules confirmed that half time prayers were compulsory for players, staff and spectators.
February 1st, 2013  
You're a bad, bad man.
February 1st, 2013  
Capt Frogman
The worrying thing is that these will most likely be the headlines!
February 1st, 2013  
The Highway Man
Originally Posted by hawky94
You're a bad, bad man.
Tell me something I don't already know, sweet cheeks.
February 2nd, 2013  
As it happens, I don't think he's far off the mark.
February 4th, 2013  
Quiet true...

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