True Stories




 
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April 27th, 2005  
7.62
 
 

Topic: True Stories


Post your Junior Military Stories(funny) here

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It was the 2005 MN WG encampment. We were standing at parade rest on the drill pad. The right guide was standing at attention, as an officer was close. 2 or 3 birds flew by and one landed on his left shoulder. Now, of course he's at attention and can't move so the bird is just sitting there. Now our Flight Commander comes along and sees the bird. He tries not to laugh and gives the cadet permission to get it off. The cadet waves it away and so ends my story.
April 27th, 2005  
CDTGaticaW201
 
LOL.....I was about to say that I didn't have one, but I rememer a funny on my first drill weekend, and first fire watch.

I was assigned the 0200-0300 fire watch with Feely, who was pretty cool. It was pretty slow, I read this ANG comic about 3 times when all of a sudden, my LPO (Leading Petty Officer for you CAP cadets) stumbled out of the barracks and went into a stairwell corner.

Now, both of us being fed up with the LPO's power trip that day, took note of it on the watch bill. We decided we'd wait around to see if an Officer would swing by and take notice, when we heard this weird moaning followed by the words "Baby, :mumble: Cow" echoing through the drill deck. I went over there with my flashlight and low and behold, my LPO was laying face down in the corner sleeping his ass off like an Iraqi got him from behind. I didn't bother to tell him to leave, and went back to my watch station.

About 20 minutes later, we heard more grunting, and so we took note of everything, and then through the railing of the drill deck, we could see him crawling back to the barracks....He stood up at the light of the first entryway, and then slammed into the door leading into the actual barracks.

The Next day during formation the adult officers came by and asked for our LPO trying to hold all their laughter in. They then asked if it was true, and burst out laughing.
April 28th, 2005  
c/Commander
 
 
At drill team practice once, the bayonet lug on one of our Garands broke during a series of spins and the bayonet itself flew through an (open) window. Whoops. The cadet responsible had to go to the janitor (the room was locked...with an open window...weird I know) and explain to him that he had flung a large knife through the window.
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April 28th, 2005  
C/2nd Lt Robot
 
 
I would share more of our stories but the ones i've disclosed weren't classified. The others (the really funny ones) are still classified and will be until everyone that knows our names are dirt. So maybe (if the Hindu are right) you'll hear of them in later lives.
April 28th, 2005  
alliehz
 
I went to a FTX last year and I was on the SAR team. Well, a few officers I knew had to simulate a plan crash near a creek, and they were the victems. One had a laceration to the head and was combative. Another was unconscious, and the 3rd was disorganized in his thoughts and thought he was being taken to his first day of kindergarten.

Well, we go to take care of the combative one, but he rather fight with the dude taking care of him (which just so happens to be his best bud, so they took that time to horse play) Just as we are taking him away he trys to take off, but he trips over a rick, falls down, and actually hurts himself. Mean while, the team taking the unconscious one away nearly drops the patient in the water, and the people with the guy who thought he is in kindergarten is trying to keep him from yelling.....he was yelling "DADDY!!! WHERE ARE YOU DADDY!!!!". As if a C/Maj in his late teens yelling for his daddy isn't funny enough, his dad just so happens to be there...so as a joke he starts yelling back saying "IM COMING FOR YOU JONNY BOY!!! DADDYS COMING!!!!"

Then that night we played capture the flag in the woods at like 11pm, so it's really really dark, and theres trees and limbs and all sorts of stuff to run into or trip over....the First Sgt proved that point many, many times.....

First Sgt: OUCH!!!!!!
us: what happened?
First Sgt: I ran into another tree.

This would happen every 5 minutes or so.
I would give tell you some more funny storys, but they involve me....
April 28th, 2005  
cpl_clarke
 
 
The only story i can think of right now happend last year at one of our CO's parades. Our CSM came marching out in his full highland kit to call drill. He has these metal things on the bottom of his boots (not sure what they're called) and they made the parade square slippery. So when he came out he slipped and everyone could see up his kilt. We were all at attention so it was extremely difficult not to laugh.
April 28th, 2005  
C/2nd Lt Robot
 
 
Cheaters right? The metal things on the bottom of his boots.
April 29th, 2005  
cpl_clarke
 
 
Someone told me last night that they're called blakies or something like that.
April 29th, 2005  
alliehz
 
If they are on the bottom of the heels, like a horse shoe, they are Taps. But if they are on the sides of the heel they are called cheaters.
July 3rd, 2005  
silent driller
 
 
Some funny stories? I got one from a CQ shift at Camp Pendalton in VA. We were on a patrol run when we came across some drunk soldiers carrying a guidon. I'm blind in 2 out of 3 eyes, so, upon seeing the red guidon, I thought they were drunk Marines(a bit redundant?). I stopped them about 50 meters away by yelling "Semper Fi! Do or die!" at the top of my lungs. They turned around and one shouted "**** all of you jarhead mother ****ers!" They stumbled off and we later found their guidon next to our barracks.