True Stories - Page 2




 
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July 7th, 2005  
silent driller
 
 
I remembered a funnier one. Our Sgt. Major at the JROTC was a Recon Marine for a lot of years. So he's a bit of a cracked nut. Several of our cadets were also cracked nuts to varying degrees. One of them, Brian Behm, decided to challenge the "old, fat, bald Sgt. Major" to a wrestling match. Sgt. Major "politely" declined(You'll get your ass kicked) and went into his office. Behm stood around in the classroom, foolishly bragging about what a pussy Sgt. Major was being. While he was running his face, Sgt. Major was creeping up behind him. With a heave and a ho and a rather loud rebel yell, Sgt. Major did a standing broad jump onto the table behind Behm, then jumped off the table. Behm was visibly shaken, but relieved that he was still in one piece. He turned back around and started talking again. Sgt. Major came back a few moments later, jumped on the table again. Behm turned around, unamused at this latest developement and appearantly thinking Sgt. Major would jump off the table again. And so he did, but this time, it was right at Behm. He grabbed the poor moron, put him in a headlock, slugged his fat a few times, and launched the kid across the room(about a 10 yard expanse for a human to fly through). Behm slammed against the wall and sat there, more than likely just realizing what had happened. We all laughed. The end. Or is it?
July 7th, 2005  
PershingOfLSU
 
I had the unique distinction of being the only WIA last I went paintballing with my det. Me and another guy are covering each other and moving through some very heavy brush and woods. I'm moving, he's covering. Next thing we know I'm getting pelted. Naturally one of the paintballs finds its way to the softest part of my neck, right beside the tendons guarding the windpipe. And of course, bounces off and doesn't break.

And because the person who fired the paintball in question had in all likelyhood bumped up the speed of the paintballs, it punched a nice paintball sized hole in my neck. The bleeding wasn't bad in that it didn't flow. And it only went about 2/5 of an inch deep. I didn't know how bad it looked until I went to the bathroom between rounds and swabbed it with isopropyl alcohol. It literally didn't hurt at all and never really did more then sting a little. But nothing makes people go, "What happened?" like a hole in the neck. I went on to get a further half dozen hits that day (as well as a neck protector, multiple people I didn't know offered me one upon seeing my neck) and a nickel sized scar.

Alright, so it's not funny. But I'm sworn to secrecy on most of the funny storys.
July 18th, 2005  
silent driller
 
 
Got a new one from Hawk Mountain. I was part of Tango Squadron(the team commander's course) and we did a lot of work on rope. One of our scenarios was the rescue of a climber who had fallen off the side of a cliff. We were supposed to set up a haul system with our rappel lines and lower a rescuer and a Stokes basket to the victim, put the victim in, and raise the whole thing back up. Our rescuer, being the bright star in the sky that he is, decided to hook himself up to a rappel line and leap off the side of the cliff with our haul system only halfway set up. To this day, we can't figure out what rope caught him and stopped him and the basket from plummeting to death and destruction, but, upon looking over the edge, we found our friend hanging there as if nothing were out of the ordinary(he had no idea that his life was in immediate danger). So we spent the next two and a half hours rescuing(for real) our local moron. It's not really a funny story, but it hasn;t left my mind since it happened.

There was one funny part to me personally. Just imagine some guy picking up a Stokes basket and taking a flying leap off the side of a cliff. Maybe you can be amused by it.

By the way, our scenario continued despite the real life rescue. Accordig=ng to the scenario, our victim died 40 minutes into the operation. So the scenario turned into one of a body recovery.
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July 18th, 2005  
C/2nd Lt Robot
 
 
"Five years from now I'll look back on this and laugh." Is probably what would of gone through his head if he realized what he did.
July 20th, 2005  
silent driller
 
 
He was laughing when we finally pulled his ass to the top. He was still clueless.

...I actually do have funny stories, but I'd have to get a vote from my "Heavy Hauler" crew(me and five other guys who were often tasked with carrying tons of gear in the Stokes basket. We called ourselves the Heavy Haulers and came up with a "Heavy Hongress" to decide "Important" stuff((Do we go commando today?)) ).
August 7th, 2005  
USAFAUX2004
 
 
At Honor Guard Academy the Red Hats (3rd Year) Were practicing new spins and one by one their rifle were landing barrel into the ground. and latter at lunch all of them had scratches from the missed spins and a C/LtCol had a scratch as if he tried to commit suicide on his arm. He later said "This is not good, they will not believe me when i tell them what really happened"