February 2003 my unit got activated for Operation Enduring Freedom. After we reported in we did the processing, wills, shots, powers of attorneys', etc. When it came time for me to go to the Training & Education station they had set up I was bored & needed to let off some steam. The conversation went something like this:
"Do you speak any foreign languages, Sergeant?"
"Well, as I matter of fact I'm trilingual. I speak Army, I speak civilian & I speak redneck. I used to be able to speak Marine but I forgot a lot of it, but if you get me around them I'm sure it'll come back to me."
"What was that?"
"I said I speak Army, civilian & redneck & a little bit of Marine."
"Oh. Well.... Yea, see Army isn't REALLY a foreign language."
"Then why in the hell do I always have to translate what I'm saying to my family?"
"Well, I may seem like a foreign language but it isn't. What were the others?"
"Civilian."
"Yea, um, that's like, uh regular English so that one doesn't count either. What else?"
"A little of Marine."
"Yea, um, that's gonna fall under the same catagory as the Army. It may seem like a foreign language but it isn't."
"You ever been around any?" [chuckling]
"Huh?'
"Nevermind."
"There was another what was it?"
"Redneck," I answered with a straight face.
"Redneck?"
"Yea, redneck."
The dutiful Specialist gets out the DOD approved foreign languages list and starts to look it up. I glance over my shoulder at some of my buddies who are laughing their heads off.
"Redneck?"
"Yea, redneck."
He turns arouns & hollers at the E7 NCOIC, "Hey Sergeant! I got a Sergeant here who says she speaks redneck & I Can't find it one the list!"
The room went dead quiet.
"What?!"
"I got a sgt here who says she speaks redneck & I can't find it on the list!"
The E7 looked at me & got to spitting, stuttering & stammering, "Hibser!!! Quit F****ing with my people! She doesn't speak anything! She can't even speak English all that good! Just sign her papers & get her the hell out of here!"
The room busted up w/laughter. I'm still waiting for it to come out on the DOD list. Maybe next year.
"Do you speak any foreign languages, Sergeant?"
"Well, as I matter of fact I'm trilingual. I speak Army, I speak civilian & I speak redneck. I used to be able to speak Marine but I forgot a lot of it, but if you get me around them I'm sure it'll come back to me."
"What was that?"
"I said I speak Army, civilian & redneck & a little bit of Marine."
"Oh. Well.... Yea, see Army isn't REALLY a foreign language."
"Then why in the hell do I always have to translate what I'm saying to my family?"
"Well, I may seem like a foreign language but it isn't. What were the others?"
"Civilian."
"Yea, um, that's like, uh regular English so that one doesn't count either. What else?"
"A little of Marine."
"Yea, um, that's gonna fall under the same catagory as the Army. It may seem like a foreign language but it isn't."
"You ever been around any?" [chuckling]
"Huh?'
"Nevermind."
"There was another what was it?"
"Redneck," I answered with a straight face.
"Redneck?"
"Yea, redneck."
The dutiful Specialist gets out the DOD approved foreign languages list and starts to look it up. I glance over my shoulder at some of my buddies who are laughing their heads off.
"Redneck?"
"Yea, redneck."
He turns arouns & hollers at the E7 NCOIC, "Hey Sergeant! I got a Sergeant here who says she speaks redneck & I Can't find it one the list!"
The room went dead quiet.
"What?!"
"I got a sgt here who says she speaks redneck & I can't find it on the list!"
The E7 looked at me & got to spitting, stuttering & stammering, "Hibser!!! Quit F****ing with my people! She doesn't speak anything! She can't even speak English all that good! Just sign her papers & get her the hell out of here!"
The room busted up w/laughter. I'm still waiting for it to come out on the DOD list. Maybe next year.
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