Two things I have learned.
One
I've tried the opposite of being pissed off, this physchological term is known as "F#*& IT". Upon entering a "F#$# IT" mentality I am much more prone to making very very bad/ borderline illegal or dangerous behavior.
So sometimes it is benificial to stay in the "pissed off" mental state, for my own personal saftey and the saftey of others / mailboxes/ city buses ect.
Two,
Here is an example of how staying pissed off can help you. ;-)
Example, I get pissed off when someone thinks way too hard on a simple subject that can use a simple yes or no answer. Making complex dialouge out of nothing.
But I will refrain from entering the "F*#( IT" mentality, which may entail me spamming this thread with useless cat calls and provactive comments.
Only to be followed by me drinking a bottle of 90 proof and shooting bottle rockets at the neighbor's bird bath while screaming naked F@*$ THE POLICE!.
Not normally acitivties I would partake in, making a a## of myself and racking up jail time, but when athourities finally did wrestle me in my drunken deliberated state to the ground and bring me in for questioning, they will quickly find I was under the "F#($ IT" mindset because I was not capable of being a little pissed off and handling a small setback in life like a mature adult. :crybaby:
Cheers my friends,
This lesson is now dismissed.
Negative emotions like anger kick us into survival mode, as if saying to our body, "we are in danger". There is a physiological change that takes place in our body to prepare us for fight or flight.
These physical responses disrupt the natural flow of energy in our body – affecting our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. A negative emotion is therefore toxic to the body and interferes with its harmonious functioning and balance. Prolonged anger, stress and holding grudges will hurt our adrenal gland and immune system.
Aren’t your physical and mental health worth more than the mental pressure you are voluntarily piling onto yourself? Is it worth it to react out of spiteful emotions and hurt feelings, so that we might temporarily satisfy our pride? Anger also clouds our judgment and we become consumed with problems and pain. Instead of cutting ourselves loose, free from the self-inflicted pain; we make irrational, unreasonable, regretful and hurtful decisions.
("I've tried the opposite of being pissed off, this physchological term is known as "F#*& IT".")
You're wrong mate. The opposite is the Alternate Story technique.
Every time something happens that starts to get me feeling negative, judgmental, sad or angry, I tell myself an alternate story about what might’ve been going on for the other person.
For example, say a person cuts me off in traffic.
My first response is to think, "Hey, look out, jerk!" And then I
could proceed to get mad, feel my adrenaline rise, and start tailgating that car, just to show him he can’t treat me like that.
But before I take any action or speak, I think to myself,
is there any other possible reason that guy could’ve made that lane change right in front of me?
…Maybe he’s on the phone hearing news that someone in his family just had to go to the hospital and is totally not paying attention.
…Maybe HE’s trying to get to the hospital because he’s having chest pains.
…Maybe he’s had a horrible day and his wife left him and he’s totally disconnected from anything besides his own pain.
…Maybe he’s just had a bug fly into his eye.
…Maybe he really looked in his mirror and thought he saw no one there.
…Maybe he’s really nervous on the freeway and just made a mistake.
…Or maybe he really is a jerk.
Maybe, but
I just can’t know. As you can see from my list of maybes, there’s no way for me to know what’s going on with anybody else as they do whatever it is they’re doing.
(Sure, I may have really good guesses sometimes, but the point of this is this: none of us can EVER know for sure what’s going on with anyone else. Unless we ask them…and sometimes even then, we can’t be sure.)
Going through some alternate stories whenever I feel reactionary helps me to remember that I can’t know what’s up with that other person. And that sometimes
my behavior could look just as annoying to someone else, even if I didn’t mean it that way at all.
The power of the Alternate Story technique is that it reconnects me to my compassion, my sense of "oh, yeah, sometimes I do that, too." If I don’t know for sure that he meant to run me off the road, it’s easier for me to allow space in my heart for him.
Try it and see what you think. I’d love to hear your comments!
Shaking head in disappointment? 