![]() |
![]() |
||
![]() |
Quote:
|
![]() |
||
|
Quote:
These physical responses disrupt the natural flow of energy in our body – affecting our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. A negative emotion is therefore toxic to the body and interferes with its harmonious functioning and balance. Prolonged anger, stress and holding grudges will hurt our adrenal gland and immune system. Aren’t your physical and mental health worth more than the mental pressure you are voluntarily piling onto yourself? Is it worth it to react out of spiteful emotions and hurt feelings, so that we might temporarily satisfy our pride? Anger also clouds our judgment and we become consumed with problems and pain. Instead of cutting ourselves loose, free from the self-inflicted pain; we make irrational, unreasonable, regretful and hurtful decisions. ("I've tried the opposite of being pissed off, this physchological term is known as "F#*& IT".") You're wrong mate. The opposite is the Alternate Story technique. Every time something happens that starts to get me feeling negative, judgmental, sad or angry, I tell myself an alternate story about what might’ve been going on for the other person. For example, say a person cuts me off in traffic. My first response is to think, "Hey, look out, jerk!" And then I could proceed to get mad, feel my adrenaline rise, and start tailgating that car, just to show him he can’t treat me like that. But before I take any action or speak, I think to myself, is there any other possible reason that guy could’ve made that lane change right in front of me? …Maybe he’s on the phone hearing news that someone in his family just had to go to the hospital and is totally not paying attention. …Maybe HE’s trying to get to the hospital because he’s having chest pains. …Maybe he’s had a horrible day and his wife left him and he’s totally disconnected from anything besides his own pain. …Maybe he’s just had a bug fly into his eye. …Maybe he really looked in his mirror and thought he saw no one there. …Maybe he’s really nervous on the freeway and just made a mistake. …Or maybe he really is a jerk. Maybe, but I just can’t know. As you can see from my list of maybes, there’s no way for me to know what’s going on with anybody else as they do whatever it is they’re doing. (Sure, I may have really good guesses sometimes, but the point of this is this: none of us can EVER know for sure what’s going on with anyone else. Unless we ask them…and sometimes even then, we can’t be sure.) Going through some alternate stories whenever I feel reactionary helps me to remember that I can’t know what’s up with that other person. And that sometimes my behavior could look just as annoying to someone else, even if I didn’t mean it that way at all. The power of the Alternate Story technique is that it reconnects me to my compassion, my sense of "oh, yeah, sometimes I do that, too." If I don’t know for sure that he meant to run me off the road, it’s easier for me to allow space in my heart for him. Try it and see what you think. I’d love to hear your comments! |
![]() |
|
|
Exactly, Freyja
With the times the way that they are and the challenges that we face, one needs to focus on the mentally strong part more so than ever. Deployments after deployments gives us no choice. One must develop a "Warrior Mindset" by taking time to acknowledge and appreciate all the good things in life and recognizing that things in life happen, and one must not dwell on the issue but focus on its resolve to strengthen one’s character, health, and well being. Taking time to look at what you have versus what you don’t have allows for forward momentum and growth. Recognizing that you can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen , but you can change how you interpret and respond to those events is the key to regaining balance and self control - it is the very definition of a Warrior Mindset. "10% of life is what happens, 90% of life is how you interpret it". Strengthening your mindset strengthens your focus, which in turn strengthens your physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well being. |
![]() |
|
![]() |
I disagree slightly I think if I read that epos right..
Agression and the pissed off feeling must be allowed to coexist with the I can fix it mentality. Otherwise you risk getting to the point where you can´t make your adrenaline race through your body at will. You get complacent, and you wither and die. So alittle pissed off is fine, as long as you can control it and your actions. KJ sends.. |
![]() |
|
|
I think we are saying the same KJ, each in our own way.
Controlled aggression is a key element in our profession. I can turn it on and off. After a mission when we are defusing / debriefing, I'm back down to my normal level again very quickly. But in my civilian life, I don´t bother spending time and energy on being pissed off. |
![]() |
||
![]() |
Quote:
Lol I did not mean gritting teeth and having issues angry. Or going borderline homicidal. You have to let many of the woes others throw on you roll off your back like water if you are to have any appreciation for society. There not to much for my post. Although I agree with your points, I rarely loose any sleep over some one else's disagreances , let alone pursue some one over it. But a little disatisfaction can be a good thing at least I found, what better motivator sometimes than to not have things go your way? Taking the good with the bad, making the best from the worst. It's all we really can do. |
![]() |