Top Ten Signs Your Dog Hates You

Team Infidel

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Top Ten Signs Your Dog Hates You

10 You tell him to "sit" and he tells you to "eat it"

9 Only time he kisses you is after he drinks from the toilet

8 His favorite chew toy is your iPhone

7 Leaves a dead bird in your slipper with note reading "You're next"

6 Convinces Leona Helmsley's dog to evict you from your apartment

5 You dragged him all the way to New York City to perform some dumb trick on the Late Show

4 He gnawed a soup bone into a shiv

3 No number 3 -- writer shot by his dog

2 Leaves you to go live with Michael Vick

1 He paid Bob Barker $100 to neuter you
 
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