Top Ten Reasons I'm Looking Forward To The Grammy Awards

Team Infidel

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Top Ten Reasons I'm Looking Forward To The Grammy Awards

By thanking family and friends on air, I can save money on my long-distance calls

In the course of the evening, I'm hoping to marry and divorce Amy Winehouse

I'm nominated in the category of "Lillest Wayne"

Get to hang out with the Jonas Brothers. Have you seen these guys? They're adorable

Watching Madonna ask for the senior citizen's discount at the bar

The U.S. Airways pilot's gonna land a plane on the stage

Green room crabcakes in the shape of Beyonce's booty

It'll be more exciting than my usual Sunday nights of watching "Desperate Housewives" in my underpants

In these tough times, Americans will appreciate the chance to watch a bunch of rich people kiss each other's asses for three hours

Winners who talk too much get tased
 
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