Top Ten Reasons Fidel Castro Is Retiring

Team Infidel

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He has accepted the role of Dr. Ramon Vazquez on "General Hospital"

Achieved his goal of getting Cuba's unemployment rate under 83%

Wants to spend more time interrogating his family

Just got Season One of "Gilmore Girls"

Caught injecting human growth hormone into his wife, Debbie Castro

Too many tacos

He was adopted by Angelina Jolie -- honestly, how crazy would that be?

Always promised himself he'd quit torturing when it stopped being fun

Jane Fonda called him a blank

49 years at the same job? Who am I, Letterman?
 
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