Team Infidel
Forum Spin Doctor
Top Ten Perks of Being an All-Star presented by Derek Jeter
"If fans hit a beach ball onto the field, I get to keep it"
"When I go to the supermarket, they give me the non-deadly tomatoes"
"In November, I get to vote as many times as I want"
"I can re-broadcast games without the express written consent of Major League Baseball"
"I don't need a permit to own a monkey"
"I get a 30-cent bump to $9.75 an hour"
"Starbucks opened a branch in the dugout just in case I need a mid-game latte"
"Whenever I steal second base, I decide whether I'm safe or not"
"A chance to remind Boston players they only have to win 19 more championships to have as many as we do"
"Special 'All-Star cups' vibrate in your pants!"
"If fans hit a beach ball onto the field, I get to keep it"
"When I go to the supermarket, they give me the non-deadly tomatoes"
"In November, I get to vote as many times as I want"
"I can re-broadcast games without the express written consent of Major League Baseball"
"I don't need a permit to own a monkey"
"I get a 30-cent bump to $9.75 an hour"
"Starbucks opened a branch in the dugout just in case I need a mid-game latte"
"Whenever I steal second base, I decide whether I'm safe or not"
"A chance to remind Boston players they only have to win 19 more championships to have as many as we do"
"Special 'All-Star cups' vibrate in your pants!"
