Pacific Lure
Active member
[FONT=Verdana,][FONT=Verdana,][FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]New Virus:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload- Recreational-Killer (WORK).[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and Take two good friends to the nearest bar.
Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana,]Business Partner:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]A businessman called his lazy son into his office and announces some great news: "From now on, son, I'd like you to become a full-time partner in the company. now, which part of the company would you like to be in charge of?". [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]
"Well", said the son, "I hate the shipping room, I get a panic attack whenever I am inside the bookkeeping department, I can't get along with the people at sales"...
His father stopped him and said: "Well then, what WOULD you like the most, as a full-time partner"?
The son replied: "I guess the most of all, I'd like you to buy me out".[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]News Flash:
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister
Of Migration, Mohammed Omar Bin Nadin, warned the United States that if military Action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's Supply of convenience store managers.
And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell customer service reps.
It's getting ugly!
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]The Glass Eye:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye.
He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's ass was that eye staring right back at him.
"You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]Expensive Dish:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu...
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a big price difference for the politician?"
The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]Morning s-e-x?
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to take this note to your beautiful Mommy.
The note read:
The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed.
Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to take this
to your silly Daddy.
Her note read:
Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today.
John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then he asked his son to take it back to the lady in the kitchen.
His note read:
The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head.
Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take this
to the poor dude upstairs.
Her note read:
I'm Sure That Your Pole's The Best In The Land
But I'm Busy Right Now So Do It By Hand.
[FONT=Verdana,]New Virus:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload- Recreational-Killer (WORK).[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and Take two good friends to the nearest bar.
Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana,]Business Partner:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]A businessman called his lazy son into his office and announces some great news: "From now on, son, I'd like you to become a full-time partner in the company. now, which part of the company would you like to be in charge of?". [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]
"Well", said the son, "I hate the shipping room, I get a panic attack whenever I am inside the bookkeeping department, I can't get along with the people at sales"...
His father stopped him and said: "Well then, what WOULD you like the most, as a full-time partner"?
The son replied: "I guess the most of all, I'd like you to buy me out".[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]News Flash:
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister
Of Migration, Mohammed Omar Bin Nadin, warned the United States that if military Action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's Supply of convenience store managers.
And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell customer service reps.
It's getting ugly!
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]The Glass Eye:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye.
He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's ass was that eye staring right back at him.
"You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]Expensive Dish:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,]A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu...
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a big price difference for the politician?"
The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,][/FONT]Morning s-e-x?
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to take this note to your beautiful Mommy.
The note read:
The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed.
Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to take this
to your silly Daddy.
Her note read:
Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today.
John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then he asked his son to take it back to the lady in the kitchen.
His note read:
The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head.
Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take this
to the poor dude upstairs.
Her note read:
I'm Sure That Your Pole's The Best In The Land
But I'm Busy Right Now So Do It By Hand.
