Things that do not go together....




 
--
Boots
 
September 13th, 2011  
Yossarian
 
 

Topic: Things that do not go together....


Things that do not go together....


Motor Vehicles
Bottle Rockets
Malt Liquor


Lawn care equipment
Yellow jackets
Coors Light


Farm Machinery
Electric Fences
Canadian Crown 16


Forklifts
Interstate On Ramps
Johnny Walker Red Label


Ex wives
Their new husbands
Strawberry pucker


Spider Man Costumes
Wire Welding machines
Mad Dog 20/20


Suspended CDL License
"Borrowed" Spotting Truck with plans to stop by a Mexican post office
Pulque


An aluminum baseball bat with 700 used golf balls
A snowblower
Newcastle Ale


400 yards of rubber hose to be used as bungee cord
A abandoned bridge spanning over a dry creek bed
Samuel Adams


Descion to go streaking
Police K-9 Units
Wine Coolers


Underarmor underwear and flip flops
Chain link fences
Captain Morgan


Descion to urinate out the windshield of an side by side ATV
A high velocity of speed
Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon


Concrete mixer trucks
Those poles in the liquor store parking lot
Home made blueberry wine


A 20 feet wide drainage ditch and any Steve McQueen movie
A Honda 50 cc mini bike
Knock Off Jager Brand


Two mail order Thai Hookers
Sixty jars of stolen peanut butter
The High Life


Bleach and Ammonia
Small cramped Port-A-John
Schnapps


Velveeta Cheese
Bear Traps
Pine apple Home Brew Juice


A penny rolled in bubble gum stuck in an electrical outlet
A copper clothes hanger
Crown Royal


Lying to your probation Officer
Telling Him
Guinness


Starting a grease fire
Urinating on it
Jack Daniels Old No. 7




Finally as who at the time I thought was my wife asked me if I noticed any patterns in all these experiences,

I replied with a simple "un uh".


Then she kindly reminded me she was my state appointed therapist, not my wife...

And that contrary to my belief this was not the Hampton Inn and Suites Hotel Lobby....

And that I was in Custodial Rehab.
 


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