TECH SUPPORT !!!




 
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Boots
 
September 22nd, 2005  
tomtom22
 
 

Topic: TECH SUPPORT !!!


Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: Okay, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah!
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises! Listen ..
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one!

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck!
Tech support: That doesn't sound good! I'll make a note!
Customer: No, wait a minute! I hadn't inserted it yet! It's still on my desk! Sorry!

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen!
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day! How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello ... I can't print!
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha! I can't print! Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it!

Customer: I have problems printing in red!
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you!

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket!

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore!
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay!
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes!
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here! Ah .. that one does work!

Customer: I can't get on the Internet!
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars!

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail!
Tech support: Okay and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

And last, but not least ..

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob!
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P" ... on your keyboard, Bob!
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

September 22nd, 2005  
Missileer
 
 

Topic: Re: TECH SUPPORT !!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by tomtom22
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: Okay, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah!
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises! Listen ..
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one!

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck!
Tech support: That doesn't sound good! I'll make a note!
Customer: No, wait a minute! I hadn't inserted it yet! It's still on my desk! Sorry!

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen!
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day! How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello ... I can't print!
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha! I can't print! Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it!

Customer: I have problems printing in red!
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you!

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket!

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore!
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay!
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes!
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here! Ah .. that one does work!

Customer: I can't get on the Internet!
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars!

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail!
Tech support: Okay and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

And last, but not least ..

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob!
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P" ... on your keyboard, Bob!
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Here's another.

I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over.
Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error?
What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down ...... I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold.
September 22nd, 2005  
Charge 7
 
 
Most computer problems originate from PEBKAC.

Problem
Exists
Between
Keyboard
And
Chair


My favorite is the lady who called in to complain that her coffee cup holder was broken. After a long go around trying to figure out how a computer could have a cup holder the tech finally discovered that she meant her CD tray. She had been jamming her styrofoam coffee cups into the hole in the tray and eventually it broke.
--
Boots
September 22nd, 2005  
LIPS
 
 
September 23rd, 2005  
Ghost Rider LSOV
 
I used to think "naaah...can't be true", until one time (really, on a greek shop :P) some years ago, when I was going to get my PC fixed (was little, so I got a wee delete key happy...anyways) and someone called the technician on the phone. After some conversation:
"Now, open (your) Windows and tell me what you see"
(half a min later)
"Cars?! Not those windows! The Windows on your PC!"

:P
January 13th, 2007  
Sevens
 
 
Those are great!
February 6th, 2007  
Team Infidel
 
 
thanks for sharing
February 7th, 2007  
Rob Henderson
 
 
The one about the keyboard is my favorite. "Walk 10 steps back." "ok..." "did the keyboard come with you?" "yes it did." *dial tone.* hahaha.
February 7th, 2007  
Gator
 
 
Funny, let me see what Homer Simpson has to say about it all.....

"To start press any key . . . where's the 'any' key?"
Homer Simpson
February 8th, 2007  
Padre
 
 
If there was a donut symbol on the "any" key Homer would find it