tomtom22
Chief Engineer
Last night, as he went to bed, Jack did like he always does, kissed his wife, crawled into bed and fell asleep.
All of a sudden,he opens his eyes and sees an elderly man dressed in a white robe, standing in front of his bed.
"Who are you and what the hell are you doing in my bedroom?" He asked.
"This isn't your bedroom." The man replied. "I am St. Peter and you're in Heaven."
"WHAT!" Said Jack. "Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young. I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy." Said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is yours."
Jack thought about it and figured that being a dog is too tiring but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad, he thought. "I want to return as a hen." Jack replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken coop, nicely feathered. But there was this uncomfortable feeling in his rear end. It felt like it was gonna explode. Just then along came a rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about. How do you like being a hen?"
" Well, okay I guess, but my rear end feels like it's about to explode."
"Oh that!" Said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Jack asked.
"Cluck twice and then you push real hard."
So Jack clucked twice, pushed hard and 'plop', an egg was on the ground. "Wow!" Said Jack. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed and yes, there was another egg on the ground.
The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Jack, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're crapping all over the bed!"
