BritinBritain
Per Ardua Ad Astra
I've been saving this one, it had to be the funniest incident during all of my service career.
I was employed on refueling Lightning aircraft, one day, a day of all days we were short handed with a lot of flying and refueling. The tanker pool Corporal in charge told me to man the phone as he was going to collect his mail, and if any of the Squadrons phone for fuel, I was to leave the phone and do the refuel.
One of my buddies, a Welshman walked into the tanker pool office for a chat, when I suddenly remembered I had to do a water check on a refueling bowser that I had filled an hour ago. I asked my buddy too look after the phone while I did the check and to call me if one of the Squadrons wanted fuel.
As I was about to leave the office, the phone rang, my buddy in his strong Welsh accent said, “Hello boyo, station farm, duty pig speaking.” My buddy grinned and put the phone down. I asked who that was on the phone, my buddy said, “It was the station commander, he sounded annoyed and on his way down.” I said “Taffy your a bloody idiot, go hide in the toilets and I'll go out to do the water check.”
As I was doing the water check the tanker pool Corporal arrived and gave him the heads up about the station commander. The Corporal was horrified, he said, “Your bloody Welsh mate is a menace, we'll both stay out here and deny all knowledge of any phone call.”
As we carried out the check the station commander arrived in his staff car, the tanker pool corporal approached a very annoyed Group Captain. The station commander hissed, “GET IN THE OFFICE,” then pointing at me said “AND TAKE THAT AIRMAN WITH YOU”
Both the Corporal and I stood at attention while the station commander vented his anger, making remarks about Welsh pigs.
The Corporal (in his London accent) said, “But Sir, we don't have any pigs, let alone Welsh ones.”
By which time I was biting my lip trying to stop myself laughing. Then station commander turned to me and bellowed, “ARE YOU WELSH???”
I had tears running down my face and gunge from my nose, and manged to splutter, “No Sir, I am a Londoner, born and bred sir.”
The station commander shouted, “IF I FIND OUT WHO ANSWERED THAT BLOODY PHONE, SO HELP ME I'LL SHOOT THE BASTARD.”
The Corporal then asked, “What did you want to talk to me about when you phoned originally sir?”
The station commander glared at him and shouted, “I CANT BLOODY REMEMBER NOW.” and stormed out of the office, got in his car and roared off.
My mate Taffy staggered out of the toilets rolling with laughter, all three of us ended up falling about laughing.
I often sit and think about this incident and begin laughing to myself, my wife and kids look at me as if I'm bonkers.
I was employed on refueling Lightning aircraft, one day, a day of all days we were short handed with a lot of flying and refueling. The tanker pool Corporal in charge told me to man the phone as he was going to collect his mail, and if any of the Squadrons phone for fuel, I was to leave the phone and do the refuel.
One of my buddies, a Welshman walked into the tanker pool office for a chat, when I suddenly remembered I had to do a water check on a refueling bowser that I had filled an hour ago. I asked my buddy too look after the phone while I did the check and to call me if one of the Squadrons wanted fuel.
As I was about to leave the office, the phone rang, my buddy in his strong Welsh accent said, “Hello boyo, station farm, duty pig speaking.” My buddy grinned and put the phone down. I asked who that was on the phone, my buddy said, “It was the station commander, he sounded annoyed and on his way down.” I said “Taffy your a bloody idiot, go hide in the toilets and I'll go out to do the water check.”
As I was doing the water check the tanker pool Corporal arrived and gave him the heads up about the station commander. The Corporal was horrified, he said, “Your bloody Welsh mate is a menace, we'll both stay out here and deny all knowledge of any phone call.”
As we carried out the check the station commander arrived in his staff car, the tanker pool corporal approached a very annoyed Group Captain. The station commander hissed, “GET IN THE OFFICE,” then pointing at me said “AND TAKE THAT AIRMAN WITH YOU”
Both the Corporal and I stood at attention while the station commander vented his anger, making remarks about Welsh pigs.
The Corporal (in his London accent) said, “But Sir, we don't have any pigs, let alone Welsh ones.”
By which time I was biting my lip trying to stop myself laughing. Then station commander turned to me and bellowed, “ARE YOU WELSH???”
I had tears running down my face and gunge from my nose, and manged to splutter, “No Sir, I am a Londoner, born and bred sir.”
The station commander shouted, “IF I FIND OUT WHO ANSWERED THAT BLOODY PHONE, SO HELP ME I'LL SHOOT THE BASTARD.”
The Corporal then asked, “What did you want to talk to me about when you phoned originally sir?”
The station commander glared at him and shouted, “I CANT BLOODY REMEMBER NOW.” and stormed out of the office, got in his car and roared off.
My mate Taffy staggered out of the toilets rolling with laughter, all three of us ended up falling about laughing.
I often sit and think about this incident and begin laughing to myself, my wife and kids look at me as if I'm bonkers.
