A
Anonymous
Guest
A classic from the woodpile: 
One day a police officer clocked a car driven by a marine at over 90 miles per hour. The marine, one of our older military veterans of three wars, immediately pulled over once he saw the blinking lights of the black and white Dudley Do-right on his bumper.
Marine: Hi officer. Did I do anything wrong?
Officer: Sir I clocked you at 90 miles per hour. May I see your license please?
Marine: Naw that aint possible. I lost my license when I was charged with the DUI about 4 years back.
Officer: I see. The can I see your registration?
Marine: No that won’t be possible either. See this is a stolen car.
Officer: stolen car?
Marine. Yep. The guy i stole it from is in the trunk.
Officer: he's in the trunk?
Marine: yep. Bopped him on the head, cut him up into a hundred pieces, put em in plastic bags and popped him right into the trunk. You want to see him?
Officer: no. You just stay in the car. The officer goes back to his car.
Five minutes later, five police cars roll up and surround the vehicle. The police captain strolls up to the car, with a drawn gun.
Captain: Sir, would you mind getting out of your car?
Marine: Sure sir. And he gets out
Captain: sir I just received a report from one of my men that he had just apprehended a driver without a license. Do you have a license to drive sir?
Marine sure do and pulls out his driver license from his wallet.
Captain: I also received word that the man was driving a stolen car, with possibly a body in the trunk. Is this the case?
Marine: Naw sir, this is my car. He pulls the registration out of the glove compartment, and hands it to the captain.
Captain: would you mind opening your trunk?
Marine: sure sir. He then opened the trunk to reveal...nothing.
Captain: I am very puzzled. My man reported that he had apprehended an unlicensed driver, driving a stolen car, with a body in the trunk. None of that seems to be true.
Marine: yeah, and I bet the little liar even told you I was speeding didn’t he?
Works every time.
One day a police officer clocked a car driven by a marine at over 90 miles per hour. The marine, one of our older military veterans of three wars, immediately pulled over once he saw the blinking lights of the black and white Dudley Do-right on his bumper.
Marine: Hi officer. Did I do anything wrong?
Officer: Sir I clocked you at 90 miles per hour. May I see your license please?
Marine: Naw that aint possible. I lost my license when I was charged with the DUI about 4 years back.
Officer: I see. The can I see your registration?
Marine: No that won’t be possible either. See this is a stolen car.
Officer: stolen car?
Marine. Yep. The guy i stole it from is in the trunk.
Officer: he's in the trunk?
Marine: yep. Bopped him on the head, cut him up into a hundred pieces, put em in plastic bags and popped him right into the trunk. You want to see him?
Officer: no. You just stay in the car. The officer goes back to his car.
Five minutes later, five police cars roll up and surround the vehicle. The police captain strolls up to the car, with a drawn gun.
Captain: Sir, would you mind getting out of your car?
Marine: Sure sir. And he gets out
Captain: sir I just received a report from one of my men that he had just apprehended a driver without a license. Do you have a license to drive sir?
Marine sure do and pulls out his driver license from his wallet.
Captain: I also received word that the man was driving a stolen car, with possibly a body in the trunk. Is this the case?
Marine: Naw sir, this is my car. He pulls the registration out of the glove compartment, and hands it to the captain.
Captain: would you mind opening your trunk?
Marine: sure sir. He then opened the trunk to reveal...nothing.
Captain: I am very puzzled. My man reported that he had apprehended an unlicensed driver, driving a stolen car, with a body in the trunk. None of that seems to be true.
Marine: yeah, and I bet the little liar even told you I was speeding didn’t he?
Works every time.
