The speech I'd like to hear from GW ...

Chief Bones

Forums Grumpy Old Man
I realize that this post could have been placed in the humor section ... but ... it has so many things I'd like to REALLY like to hear him say that I decided to place it here ...... I don't know if you have seen it before ... if so it bears repeating ...

HERE GOES.......

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH (especially GW)?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq.This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future , together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not "peeing us off" for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.


We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.God bless America. Thank you and good night.If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you think ... how would you like to hear this speech come out of GW's mouth????
 
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I love it!

The ironic thing is that before WW1 and really even before WW2 the US was a rather isolationist state by world standards.
 
Nice one Chief. I reckon that a speech like that will move the US definatly into my "clownesque" states category, together with say the Vatican, Nauru and the Cheychelles. But the other haven't started a war yet and then call it quits when it doesn't work out as they had hoped for!
 
Very well written Chief, and thank you for changing the font, with the bold letters a lot of words just blurred into blobs of varying size. That would be nice, since we are not doing any good it shouldn't really affect anyone, right? Come on, in Britain the US is thought to be more of a danger to world peace (even though it has never existed in the history of mankind) than Al Qaeda, it makes sense too, so long as you conveniently forget that Al Qaeda hit us first and we responded.
 
*claps enthusiastically* BRAVO BRAVO!! ENCORE ENCORE!!! Great speech! I wish I could hear someone say that...If GW said it my grandma would have a joy-associated heart attack...hahaha..BEAUTIFUL SPEECH. I wanna send a copy of this to Congress,President,Cabinet, Supreme Court...and all federal officials.ever.
 
AussieNick said:
The ironic thing is that before WW1 and really even before WW2 the US was a rather isolationist state by world standards.

Yeah, didn't work for us then, either.

Ted said:
clownesque" states category, together with say the Vatican, Nauru and the Cheychelles

Nauru! Phosphate capital of the world! Some great diving there though, but the hotel isn't too hot (but not horrible either).
 
PJ24 said:
Yeah, didn't work for us then, either. .

but still...we really do spend waaaaaaayyyy too much on foreign nations....Maybe a little tighter(not all the way) closed door policy would help out the US...not shut us off completely but cut foreign funding and assistance a little bit...
 
Me too ... MEEE TOOOOO ....

C/2Lt Henderson said:
*claps enthusiastically* BRAVO BRAVO!! ENCORE ENCORE!!! Great speech! I wish I could hear someone say that...If GW said it my grandma would have a joy-associated heart attack...hahaha..BEAUTIFUL SPEECH. I wanna send a copy of this to Congress,President,Cabinet, Supreme Court...and all federal officials.ever.
I would like to do that ... BUT ... if I were to do that, the feds would probably come knocking on my door doncha think????????? lol
 
so....the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...hahahaha..bsides, it would be jail-time with honors. you would get the prettiest male cell-mate...hahahaha
 
C/2Lt Henderson said:
so....the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...hahahaha..bsides, it would be jail-time with honors. you would get the prettiest male cell-mate...hahahaha
As long as he didn't French kiss ... OH, you know what I'm saying ...... heehee
 
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