bulldogg
Milforum's Bouncer
A Russian submarine meets an American one in the ocean. They rise to the surface and the American captain and some officers come to visit the Russian submarine. They enter it, go through looking around and finally enter the nuclear missile control room when the Russian captain suddenly loses his temper and yells at his crew:
- Who is the :cen: has thrown the boot on the console?!
Americans say:
- In America we don't have such ugly boots. And as officers we don't use such fould language.
Russian captain responds:
- There is no America any more.
The Americans respond:
-Who's the :cen: who threw the boot on that console?!!
A corporal is giving the soldiers their salary:
- Ivanov! Take 3 roubles and sign here!
- Petrov! Take 3 roubles and sign here!
- Total!
- Total!
- Total?! It's a pity he's not here, he gets more than any of y'all!
A general inspects an air force base. He walks along an airplane field, accompanied by an old corporal and finds there a cigarette butt.
- Whose butt is this?!
- It's nobody's, comrade general, take it and smoke!
A general inspects an army division. He's lead to rocket launchers. Suddenly he notices a rusty bucket near the rockets.
- What the hell is that?!! Why isn't it painted?!
- It's a photonic reflector, comrade general.
- I know that it is a photonic reflector, why the hell isn't it painted?
Military comprehension of the space-time continuum: you will dig the ditch from this fence until lunch.
And my favourite...
A trooper asks a sergeant:
- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?
- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.
- Who is the :cen: has thrown the boot on the console?!
Americans say:
- In America we don't have such ugly boots. And as officers we don't use such fould language.
Russian captain responds:
- There is no America any more.
The Americans respond:
-Who's the :cen: who threw the boot on that console?!!
A corporal is giving the soldiers their salary:
- Ivanov! Take 3 roubles and sign here!
- Petrov! Take 3 roubles and sign here!
- Total!
- Total!
- Total?! It's a pity he's not here, he gets more than any of y'all!
A general inspects an air force base. He walks along an airplane field, accompanied by an old corporal and finds there a cigarette butt.
- Whose butt is this?!
- It's nobody's, comrade general, take it and smoke!
A general inspects an army division. He's lead to rocket launchers. Suddenly he notices a rusty bucket near the rockets.
- What the hell is that?!! Why isn't it painted?!
- It's a photonic reflector, comrade general.
- I know that it is a photonic reflector, why the hell isn't it painted?
Military comprehension of the space-time continuum: you will dig the ditch from this fence until lunch.
And my favourite...
A trooper asks a sergeant:
- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?
- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.
