Some Reasons to laugh

DTop

Active member
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping..." Now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.


Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Why do you have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier!!"

Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
 
(Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier!!" )

Very good! Very good indeed!

A little side note on fat from an article I'm writting about the Argonne in WWI. General Liggett the 1st Army commander was considered the brains of the military at the time. He had been President of the War College before the war. He was also about 40 llbs overweight. When a fellow general criticised his corpulance he stated, "There's nothing wrong with a little fat as long as it isn't from the neck up".
 
"How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? "


:lol: :lol: Now that is good.
 
I like this one the best,...LOL!!! :rockin:

"Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier!!" :brave:
 
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