Sevens
Forum Dominatrix
Interesting Quotes
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness ... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan
I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. -- Mark Twain
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. -- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
*******
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
*******
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing
******
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
*****
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
*****
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
*****
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said,"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness ... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan
I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. -- Mark Twain
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. -- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
*******
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
*******
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing
******
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
*****
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
*****
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
*****
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said,"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
