Sevens
Forum Dominatrix
The AMAZING Claude!
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the assembly room was packed because none other than The Amazing Claude, the world's greatest Hypnotist, was heading the evening's entertainment. The lights dimmed and the spotlight lit the stage as The Amazing Claude came out.
"I'm here to put you into a trance," said the Amazing Claude. "I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as The Amazing Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want each of you to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It has been in my family for six generations," said The Amazing Claude, and then began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.
""S**T!" said The Amazing Claude ...
...It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
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The Inventor
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle," replies the inventor."
"A fottle? That's stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton," replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor, "you're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
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ASK GRANDMA
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when 2 people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called 'Bunk Beds' ........ And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the assembly room was packed because none other than The Amazing Claude, the world's greatest Hypnotist, was heading the evening's entertainment. The lights dimmed and the spotlight lit the stage as The Amazing Claude came out.
"I'm here to put you into a trance," said the Amazing Claude. "I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as The Amazing Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want each of you to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It has been in my family for six generations," said The Amazing Claude, and then began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.
""S**T!" said The Amazing Claude ...
...It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The Inventor
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle," replies the inventor."
"A fottle? That's stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton," replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor, "you're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
ASK GRANDMA
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when 2 people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called 'Bunk Beds' ........ And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."
