Team Infidel
Forum Spin Doctor
from the funny to the more sentimental.
"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."
Dave Barry
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
W.C. Fields
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
Bernard Manning.
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
Shirley Temple
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year."
P. J. O'Rourke
--
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."
"Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day."
Helen Steiner Rice
"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."
Dave Barry
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
W.C. Fields
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
Bernard Manning.
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
Shirley Temple
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year."
P. J. O'Rourke
--
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."
"Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day."
Helen Steiner Rice
