Sister Maria

Trooper1854

Trooper1854

The Brit Pack
As the Allies advanced up through Italy, the soldiers were followed by the press corps, sending reports home on how the war was going.
One day, the reporters arrived at a small Italian town that's recently been liberated.
One of the reporters sees a Nun and walks over to her and asks her if she would answer a few questions. She agrees.
"What was the war like for you and the other Nuns?" he asks.
The Nun shakes her head, wipes away a tear and replies:
"Terrible, terrible. First the Facisti, they arrive, they rape all the Nuns, except Sister Maria.
Then the Germans arrive. They rape all the Nuns, except Sister Maria.
After that the Americans arrive and they rape all the Nuns, except Sister Maria. The Americans, they go, the English arrive and they to rape all the Nuns, excepts Sister Maria."
The reporter is horrified. But wonders "Why didn't they rape Sister Maria?"
"Oh Sister Maria, she no like that sorta thing"
 
viper2007 said:
I don't get it... :(
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In Catholicism (Christianity), Priests, Bishops, Cardinals, the Pope, and Nuns all take a vow of Clerical celibacy. No married partner, no sex, no nothing.....

Thus the joke is that all the Nuns were "raped".... Ei they allowed it because it's a loop hole to the no sex issue with vows of Clerical celibacy.
 
5.56X45mm said:
In Catholicism (Christianity), Priests, Bishops, Cardinals, the Pope, and Nuns all take a vow of Clerical celibacy. No married partner, no sex, no nothing.....

Thus the joke is that all the Nuns were "raped".... Ei they allowed it because it's a loop hole to the no sex issue with vows of Clerical celibacy.
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Ahhhhhh, it takes an American to explain this....

Shame on you, Poms!:):):)
 
BritinAfrica said:
We didn't rape them, the Vikings did:viking:

Besides which I haven't got the energy.:sleep:
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Yup, sure, blame it on the poor ol' Vikings...:viking:

Mr Brit, come on, you don't have the energy..?

Its like the Burger King slogan- the dames will tell you that- "We'll do it all for you...":pirate2::pirate2::pirate2:
 
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viper2007 said:
Yup, sure, blame it on the poor ol' Vikings...:viking:
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Raping, pillaging and burning was their national past time

viper2007 said:
Mr Brit, come on, you don't have the energy..?
Click to expand...

My daughter said to me this morning, "Hello Santa." She then showed me a photograph she took of me yesterday fast asleep in my lazy boy chair, wearing a red golf shirt and middle/old age spread and little Molly fast asleep on my lap. She said, "With your white hair you look like Santa, who falls asleep a lot."

I fall asleep these days at the drop of a hat.:sleep:

viper2007 said:
Its like the Burger King slogan- the dames will tell you that- "We'll do it all for you...":pirate2::pirate2::pirate2:
Click to expand...

Erm, you've lost me.
 
BritinAfrica said:
Raping, pillaging and burning was their national past time



My daughter said to me this morning, "Hello Santa." She then showed me a photograph she took of me yesterday fast asleep in my lazy boy chair, wearing a red golf shirt and middle/old age spread and little Molly fast asleep on my lap. She said, "With your white hair you look like Santa, who falls asleep a lot."

I fall asleep these days at the drop of a hat.:sleep:



Erm, you've lost me.
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Come to think of it, why did I wrote that comment about Burger King's slogan?

Now I am lost, too...:sleep:
 
viper2007 said:
Yup, sure, blame it on the poor ol' Vikings...:viking:

Mr Brit, come on, you don't have the energy..?

Its like the Burger King slogan- the dames will tell you that- "We'll do it all for you...":pirate2::pirate2::pirate2:
Click to expand...

Ummm... here in the States the Burger King slogan is "Your way right away!"

Also useless trivia fact time! Burger King started in Miami, FL and is still Headquartered here. I drive by their HQ and eat at their HQ restaurant when I take idiots to the county jail.
 
viper2007 said:
Ahhhhhh, it takes an American to explain this....

Shame on you, Poms!:):):)
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Nope.... it took a Catholic to explain it.... also the same way that "Beware of Priest" signs keep kids off my lawn better then "beware of dog" sign.

:firedevi: :firedevi: :firedevi: :firedevi: :firedevi:
 
5.56X45mm said:
Nope.... it took a Catholic to explain it.... also the same way that "Beware of Priest" signs keep kids off my lawn better then "beware of dog" sign.

:firedevi: :firedevi: :firedevi: :firedevi: :firedevi:
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A gentle suggestion, if I may- your sign should read-

"Forget the Doberman, watch out for the Priest!" :read:

"Forgive, dear Lord, for I have sinned..." :hide:
 
viper2007 said:
A gentle suggestion, if I may- your sign should read-

"Forget the Doberman, watch out for the Priest!" :read:

"Forgive, dear Lord, for I have sinned..." :hide:
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Nah... for that one I have this...

funny-sign-beware-of-owner-dog.jpg


If I get my Dangerous Animal permit renewed (approval is dependent of the Girl Friend... not the State; they'd approve me in a second) I'd make a sign stating this...

"Forget the Dog, Beware of Dragon"

knomodo2.ashx


I want a Komodo Dragon as a pet.... nothing like a ten to twelve foot long predator that can kill with one bite due to how nasty it's mouth is infected with germs and bacteria. I'd name it Buttons if it's a male and Sprinkles if it's a female.
 
5.56X45mm said:
Nah... for that one I have this...

funny-sign-beware-of-owner-dog.jpg


If I get my Dangerous Animal permit renewed (approval is dependent of the Girl Friend... not the State; they'd approve me in a second) I'd make a sign stating this...

"Forget the Dog, Beware of Dragon"

knomodo2.ashx


I want a Komodo Dragon as a pet.... nothing like a ten to twelve foot long predator that can kill with one bite due to how nasty it's mouth is infected with germs and bacteria. I'd name it Buttons if it's a male and Sprinkles if it's a female.
Click to expand...

5.56 me old mucker, you need your head read mate.
 
What if I put a collar and bell on it? Maybe a pink bow if it's a girl?

I need my head checked out? Hell; the US Army, Department of Veteran Affairs, and at least about twenty different departments have stated that I'm "Sane" and "Normal".

I just know how to take those tests....

Example Question:

Please Choose yes or No.

1. Do you believe that someone is out to get you?
No

Naturally I'd answer yes.... but my stratgey (and this is key to my passing) I simply answer the exact opposite of what my natural answer is. :wink:
 
I got a rule about pets. If I cant beat the crap out of it while completely intoxicated and leave the fight without a scratch, I aint keeping it.
Its not just about me but for the safety of those around me.
 
5.56X45mm said:
Nah... for that one I have this...

funny-sign-beware-of-owner-dog.jpg


If I get my Dangerous Animal permit renewed (approval is dependent of the Girl Friend... not the State; they'd approve me in a second) I'd make a sign stating this...

"Forget the Dog, Beware of Dragon"

knomodo2.ashx


I want a Komodo Dragon as a pet.... nothing like a ten to twelve foot long predator that can kill with one bite due to how nasty it's mouth is infected with germs and bacteria. I'd name it Buttons if it's a male and Sprinkles if it's a female.
Click to expand...

When you said, "Forget the Dog, Beware of Dragon", I thought you were referring to your better half- I was thinking, "is this guy suicidal or what?". Then I saw the picture, and it was, OK, now I get it...

Buttons, huh? Thats a cute name...
 
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