Shopping at Wal-Mart

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AB_Shorts_Momma

Milforum Otaku
Yesterday I was at Wal-mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Sheriff the Wonder Dog. I was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog? What did she think I had? An Elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I though the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore!
 
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