Service Specific Jokes for New Recruits

Service Specific Jokes for New Recruits
October 9th, 2003  
Mark Conley

Topic: Service Specific Jokes for New Recruits

Service Specific Jokes for New Recruits
Just to see if we can really remember all the gags ever pulled on us. If you guys can remember more, write em down before they are lost due to technological advances...

For the Air Force: Do you remember when your sergeant or officer ever had you....

Get 50 feet of flightline?

Get A couple of gallons of propwash for the plane?

Go to the flight line kitchen to pick up the lunches driving a jammer? (A noisey, low slung bomb loading cart that goes about five miles an hour, tops).

hold the black wire and dont touch the white wire because it would kill you? (Electrical back shop workers, take note).

Make you Airman in Charge of the Honey Cart? ( that fragrant, often leaking tank they used to get the sanitary waste from an aircraft.)

Get at least 20 1030 wood rods from the civil engineering welding shop? (you cant arc weld wood).

Tell you to speak up real loud around the colonel, as he was hard of hearing from all the jet noise he'd been exposed to? (they aint that hard of hearing..)

Return a phone call from Col. Harlan Sanders concerning an environmental problem with his office? (The local KFC was not amused).

Respond to a dangerous spill of dihydrogen oxide in the squadron operations center? (Hope you remembered your mop and bucket for the water).

help fly the plane with the two strings in that came out of the cockpit, while the pilot went to the planes restroom? (only seen this done once, but it was highly effective).

There are many more out there. lets see how many we can round up.

October 10th, 2003  

Have a seen a lot of these in my time in the Army, but one classic from the Field Artillery is to get a new recruit to go to the Battery Commander to ask for some new radio batteries... Happens every year..

I have lots more, I just need to translate them into english first...
October 24th, 2003  
A few more newbie jokes (some Artillery, some not):

Get a bucket of muzzle blast

Ask the Motor Sergeant for sparkplugs for the 5 ton (diesel) truck

Find a box of Grid Squares (big favorite in FDCs everywhere!)

Find a tube of Lanyard Grease

Service Specific Jokes for New Recruits
October 24th, 2003  
Another classic is "sledgehammer grease"...
(hm.. I think this is the right translation...)

I have a ton more, but it's hard to find correct english translations....
November 19th, 2003  
Let's see if this thing will let me post without a password...

USN style:
Get some relative bearing grease,
100 feet of shore line,
a can of dehydrated water,
a bucket of steam,
and the all time favorite, go fetch the mail buoy.
March 11th, 2004  
Actually got one moron to go looking for a radio transmission. Same guy got put on "Hurricane watch": we had him up on top of the barracks in a thunderstorm with his kevlar, a pair of binoculars, and a field telephone! MP wanders by, and is like "WTF are you doing up there!?!?!"
March 11th, 2004  
Oh shoot I forgot the key! Airman Pinger, hurry down to the orderly room and get the key for aircraft 0173 from the commander. the way would anybody here like to join the bowling team??
March 12th, 2004  
Would it even be smart for a soldier to say no sir to these requests?
March 12th, 2004  
I have a feeling it's not officers or senior NCOs pulling these pranks, probably more along the lines of E3s and 4s.
March 14th, 2004  
Private Gonzo, take this to the RTO office on the second floorof Regimental HQ! The elevator is broken, so you'll have to use the stairs!
(RHQ being a one story building.)
A fun way to teach new squadmates to wear a watch: While on guard at night, relieve him, let him sleep for 15 minutes while you reset your watch, then wake him up for "his" shift. Get another hour of sleep, repeat.
Also, if someone brings a pillow to the field (especially a frigging WHITE one!) remove the pillow from the case, fill the case up with sharp rocks, and place just enough padding of some sort so that it looks fluffy. REplace on cot. Do this while soldier is out on perimeter. Wait for him to throw himself down on his COMFY pillow.
A favorite any time there was down time: All the phones on post were on the same network, and you could transfer a call to any number from any other. So we'd go into another office, dill 1800-fat-girl or something similiar, and then quickly transfer the call to say, oh, the Post commanders private line (pay attention when on cleaning detail, to get these numbers) or the sexual harassment hotline.