Seeking some advice.

H

hawky94

The Brit Pack (probationer)
Hi all,

I have a problem - or maybe the solution is simple... I don't know.

Anyway. Long story short.

I've liked this chick for a while now, and we used to be great friends, until her ex-boyfriend *who is my friend, too*, told me to let her go and leave her alone.

Out of respect for our friendship, I did this. We didn't speak for a couple of months, until recently. We started talking again, it's not going anywhere, and romantic involvement is out of the question.

He has again told me to leave her alone. He told me that she is seven months pregnant with his baby. Therefore, any chance of a romantic relationship, is out of the question.

He has told me not to tell anyone about this. And I haven't asked her about it either. I'm scared to, in case he's lying. But I also don't want to ask him whether or not he's telling the truth, I don't want him to feel as though I distrust him, and feel as though he'd lie about something as serious as this.

I've checked her recent Facebook pictures - she doesn't look pregnant. She doesn't look overly big in the belly. Which leads me to suspect that he's being a lying prick.

What do I do people? Any help?

Thanks.

Hawky.
 
Hi,

It sounds like he isn't a good friend to you. He knows you've been friends with her for a long time and suddenly "tells" you to leave her alone. The story of her pregrancy will come out soon enough if she is indeed seven mnths so it would probably be a good idea to keep quiet on that point.

Who needs a friend you can't trust? That's what friends are for.

It may help to ask yourself who is the real friend?


Hope this helps as it's a woman's point of view. A man may view his friendships in a totally different light.

Good luck

"Mind Games"...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zge6UEwUGn0&feature=relmfu"]John Lennon - Mind Games - YouTube[/ame]
 
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Hawky,

Interesting situation you have there...

How do you feel about this lady? I mean if you are indeed serious about her, you may want to discuss matters directly with her. The trick is, how do you do it? That, my friend, is something you have to decide...

What about the male friend? If you ask me, this guy is just plain bad news... That is my opinion, you know him better than I do, and you may decide otherwise, but that is the impression I get, based on your description...
 
You choose who´s your friends - and only you!

He does not show you or your friendship respect. Tell him that you want to maintain the friendship with this girl and if he can´t accept it, then he can go and "F" himself!

It is in times of crisis that friendships are tested and then it will prove who´s your friends. Real friends would take a bullet for you. Good luck.

Execute Now!
 
You can´t go through life like a nice guy. Sometimes you have to draw the line. Follow your gut feeling - it´s usually true.
 
You may be doing her a big favor with further inquiry: he doesn't sound like a guy a girl would really want to be hooked up with if she knew how controlling and manipulative (and perhaps dishonest) he truly is. I'd be 100% finished with a man I found out was telling my friends what to do or who could see me. That's can be a really bad sign. Be careful.

~Pregnancy doesn't always show until the baby is nearly here. Hope this works out :)
 
This friend of yours is no friend. Get away from him. And this girl is some girl - carrying on with two who she knows are friends! You sound like a nice guy who would be comfortable with one girl. Get a fresh girl friend.
 
Amanda said:
You may be doing her a big favor with further inquiry: he doesn't sound like a guy a girl would really want to be hooked up with if she knew how controlling and manipulative (and perhaps dishonest) he truly is. I'd be 100% finished with a man I found out was telling my friends what to do or who could see me. That's can be a really bad sign. Be careful.

~Pregnancy doesn't always show until the baby is nearly here. Hope this works out :)
Click to expand...

I may just do that. She'll probably be like, "WTF?"

Strange thing is, she contacts me, I don't contact her (trying to limit communication, so that if the ex-boyfriend bitches me out, I can say that she contacted me. And if he has a beef with that, take it up with her.) We talk either via text or on Facebook.

This leads me to think that she doesn't know that her ex has told me to leave her alone. It seems like the only thing I can do is ask her whether what he's saying is true.

If it is, then well that's great. I'll know and just tell him that I won't be getting romantically involved, but want to maintain a friendship. Just like we were friends while they were together. If it's not, then I'd want to know why he's lying to me

If he still loves her, then that's great and good for him. If she doesn't feel the same way, then the poor bastard will have to deal with it.

Decisions, decisions...


Cheers for all the support guys :)
 
A woman is either with a man or she is not.
If you talking to her makes him nervous I think he is not so sure she is “with” him all the way.
 
lookit hawk...... the short and the dirty of it.... you hook up with this woman and you will find someone else in your bed when you came home on Thursday when you weren't supposed to be home until Friday....

noper, this may be crude but you stand a 100 of them on their head and they all look the same....

close the door, walk away, but then these are words you do not want to hear... so, you will continue to pursue this gal and a few years down the road you will remember what I said this day and you will be very much poorer.
 
Wise words MS, now I find the best thing for a broken heart is some good scran, now get in the kitchens and get your pans cooking up something good. :D :D :D
 
He's clearly not your friend.

Therefore, you can please yourself with regards to the wimen.

He'll not be happy, but I'm sure your fists can resolve any "differences". ;)
 
okay dear, sounds like he wants this girl, Also its your choice. If he gets mad about you talking to her, he is not a real friend at all. It maybe a lie it maybe the truth point is he said it so a)he i lying to you because he wants her or b) he is jealous, which in my case i would say jealousy is the big key, just try to cassually catch him in the lie if you want such as get the three of yall together see what happens, or talk to her about it on confidence or just drop it
 
Freyja said:
You choose who´s your friends - and only you!

He does not show you or your friendship respect. Tell him that you want to maintain the friendship with this girl and if he can´t accept it, then he can go and "F" himself!

It is in times of crisis that friendships are tested and then it will prove who´s your friends. Real friends would take a bullet for you. Good luck.

Execute Now!
Click to expand...

Now... that is what I like in a woman- taking charge...:salute2:
 
hawky94 said:
Hi all,

I have a problem - or maybe the solution is simple... I don't know.

Anyway. Long story short.

I've liked this chick for a while now, and we used to be great friends, until her ex-boyfriend *who is my friend, too*, told me to let her go and leave her alone.

Out of respect for our friendship, I did this. We didn't speak for a couple of months, until recently. We started talking again, it's not going anywhere, and romantic involvement is out of the question.

He has again told me to leave her alone. He told me that she is seven months pregnant with his baby. Therefore, any chance of a romantic relationship, is out of the question.

He has told me not to tell anyone about this. And I haven't asked her about it either. I'm scared to, in case he's lying. But I also don't want to ask him whether or not he's telling the truth, I don't want him to feel as though I distrust him, and feel as though he'd lie about something as serious as this.

I've checked her recent Facebook pictures - she doesn't look pregnant. She doesn't look overly big in the belly. Which leads me to suspect that he's being a lying prick.

What do I do people? Any help?

Thanks.

Hawky.
Click to expand...

Passion can be a deadly poison sometimes no?

My friend, of all things, no matter what you choose, whether it be trust in your instincts or the sound advice provided by some members here.

Keep a sound head and sharp witts on your emotional approach. If you feel cautious and on edge just approaching this matter, Then imagine yourself with her. I doubt that will change.

Keep a cool hand on the holster on this one, and don't be quick to draw just on how you feel alone. Being just within reach of a pretty something something can do that.

And above all keep your sights on the line between a rational approach and emotionally charged irrational response to your "friends" interjection.

Cause by the good Lord above I can honestly attest to knowing all about the dozens of irrational ones.:p

Best of luck and happy trials my friend!:wink:
 
NP8901 said:
You can´t go through life like a nice guy. Sometimes you have to draw the line. Follow your gut feeling - it´s usually true.
Click to expand...

Damn man, every time I read your posts I can't help but thinking "that's exactly what I have done/would do". Are you me in the future?


As to Hawky, I have somewhat been there where you are now. Been the nice guy and out of respect for friendship, backed off. Don't do it, bro.
It's obvious he's sh*tting on you and quite likely laughing about it. He says she's 7 months pregnant, but it doesn't show in the pics? I do not have offspring but I'm quite sure that one can spot 7 months pregnant woman miles away, normally?

If you want her, go for the girl. If you do, prove the guy you are not to be trifled with. Don't go easy on him, since there is clearly nothing in him that deserves your respect.
If you don't, cut the ties to the guy anyways. Treat him like a jackass he is.

This coming from a guy who got tired of being the nice guy (door mat) 4 years ago. My life improved tremendously.
 
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