Saddam One Liners - Page 2

Saddam One Liners
March 14th, 2006  
Saddam One Liners
March 14th, 2006  
Navy Boy
Originally Posted by Jarhead0321
"They say that Saddam is acting like a jerk and that he still believes he's president. It's just like Al Gore." -David Letterman

"When they caught Saddam Hussein, he had more than $750,000 dollars. When he heard this, President Bush immediately invited Saddam to a fundraising dinner" - Conan O'Brien

"Saddam's daughter defended him, saying the U.S. must have drugged or gassed him. Otherwise, he never would have surrendered. Let me tell you something, the guy was living on hot dogs, Spam and Mars bars, and living in a tiny hole. I think he gassed himself." - Jay Leno

"Saddam was found cowering in his little hole in the ground. Supposedly, his goal was to remain in hiding until all the shooting stopped. Well, hey, it worked for the French." - Jay Leno

"According to CNN, before the soldiers pulled him out of the hole, Saddam yelled 'I'm willing to negotiate.' I'm no expert on the art of the deal, but when you're in a hole with 600 soldiers around, what is your bargaining chip?" - Jay Leno

"When they found Saddam he had $750,000 in cash, a pistol and two AK-47's. They now believe he was trying to start a new career as a rap star." - Jay Leno

"During his interrogation, Hussein was asked about weapons of mass destruction. He said, " the U.S. dreamed them up as a reason to go to war with us" - and Howard Dean said 'Hey, that's my line!'" - Jay Leno

"It wasn't just a hole, he had a hole adjacent to a hut. He had unopened packages of underwear, guns, a can of 7-UP, and the Paris Hilton video." - David Letterman

"They found several pairs of Saddam's boxer shorts in the hut and, by the way, that is the closest we have come to finding weapons of mass destruction." - David Letterman

"Mr. big shot Saddam Hussein came out of the hole with his hands up. Hell, Winona Ryder put up more of a fight.." - David Letterman

"Everybody is in the holiday spirit - Saddam Hussein hung mistletoe over his a$$ to kiss it goodbye." - Craig Kilborn

"Political leaders were weighing in about Saddam's hole in the ground - conservatives wondered if there were any other holes out there, liberals say it's a miracle we found it and Bill Clinton said 'Is it big enough to have sex in?'" - Craig Kilborn

"Everyone's still buzzing about the capture of Saddam Hussein. It was reported that Saddam was found in a six foot by eight foot hole that was littered with garbage and infested with mice and spiders. Experts say an apartment like that in New York would cost three thousand dollars a month." - Conan O'Brien

"Saddam Hussein just gave himself up. I mean hell, Michael Jackson put up more of a fight." - David Letterman

"They took a DNA sample from him - that's gotta be humiliating. One day you're the president of the entire country, the next your being forced to give a DNA sample. And Clinton said 'tell me about it!'" -Jay Leno

"At the time of the capture he had $750,000 in cash on him. They think he was trying to buy three gallons of gas from Halliburton... $750,000 -you know what that means? He is now eligible for the Bush tax cut!" - Jay Leno

"Reaction coming in from all over the world to Saddam Hussein's capture. The British government praised the United States, the Spanish government said it was a great day, and the French government praised Saddam for the way he surrendered - 'We couldn't have done it quicker ourselves!" - Jay Leno

"When he was captured, he was surrounded by the only nine remaining people who didn't want him caught - the Democratic presidential candidates." - Jay Leno

"U.S. forces ended their epic search for the fugitive former dictator of Iraq Saddam Hussein, finding and capturing him in a sweep dubbed 'Operation Red Dawn,' continuing the Army's noble tradition of naming operations after Patrick Swayze movies." - Jon Stewart

"In footage that's already loosing shock value, doctors checked Saddam for lice and pronounced him a member of the Need a Bath party." - Jon Stewart

"Saddam Hussein got a full medical exam and treatment. How does it feel knowing the Butcher of Baghdad got a flu shot before you?" - Craig Kilborn

"We have captured Saddam Hussein. President Bush said those two words that strike fear in the heart of every Californian - fair trial." - Craig Kilborn

"I guess by now, you all saw that hole in the ground that Saddam was hiding in. Here's my question: Why did we take him out of it? Why not just fill it in?" - Jay Leno
LOL! Welcome to the forumJarhead0321s,.
March 17th, 2006  
Hehe! Good ones!
Saddam One Liners