Raising Boys




 
--
Raising Boys
 
April 26th, 2006  
DTop
 
 

Topic: Raising Boys


Raising Boys
RAISING BOYS

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 yr. old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


Those who pass this on to their friends, with or without boys will do it because:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this should be birth control.
April 27th, 2006  
bulldogg
 
 

I have so much to look forward to.
April 27th, 2006  
Charge 7
 
 
All good one, Top! Thanks for sharin'.
--
Raising Boys
April 27th, 2006  
tomtom22
 
 
Thank God I had two girls. But I know there is a similar one for girls, my mind is so frazzled from raising the girls, I can't remember where I put it.
April 28th, 2006  
armlesscadet
 
 
hmm 80% of us will try to make the smoke eh well i dont want to prove those statistics wrong so im goin to do it
January 7th, 2007  
Team Infidel
 
 
that's a good one