Partisan
Active member
This story is often told at RMA Sandhurst, it is supposed to be true, but I cannot prove it.
A Platoon was drilling on the parade ground outside Old College, getting to grips with the fundamentals of putting one foot in front of the other as a group, whilst swinging their arms shoulder high. Things were not going well for one Officer Cadet, he kept tick tocking, having the same foot forward and the sameside arm forward, this was ruining the presentation of the platoon. Despite numerous attempts by the Colour Sergeant, he kept doing it.
Eventually the C Sgt lost his rag, grabbed the offending individual out of the platoon & gave him a severe talking to, culminatiing in the statement
"You will go down to the statue of Queen Victoria and explain to her why you are incapable of keeping in step and f###ing up my platoon".
So of the the OCdt marched, his platoon watched on. He marched up the statue, saluted and then started talking to the statue.
The CSgt had the platoon stood easy, watching the scene, as the OCdt stepped back, saluted and marched away to his accomodation.
The Csgt followed the cadet up to his room, where he found him lounging on his bed.
Naturally enraged the CSgt asked if the OCdt had heard what he'd been told to do, the OCdt reply was:
"Yes perfectly Colour, I explained the situation, Queen Victoria said that it didn't matter & that as I'd been working so hard I was to take the rest of the day off"!
Another one was during a platoon inspection, where an OCdt was not well turned out on parade. The CSgt poked him with his pace stick saying
"There's a piece of s##t on the end of my pace stick"
The OCdt looked down at the offending stick & replied
"Not on this end Colour"
As I said apochryphal, but still funny, although I don't tell them that well.
A Platoon was drilling on the parade ground outside Old College, getting to grips with the fundamentals of putting one foot in front of the other as a group, whilst swinging their arms shoulder high. Things were not going well for one Officer Cadet, he kept tick tocking, having the same foot forward and the sameside arm forward, this was ruining the presentation of the platoon. Despite numerous attempts by the Colour Sergeant, he kept doing it.
Eventually the C Sgt lost his rag, grabbed the offending individual out of the platoon & gave him a severe talking to, culminatiing in the statement
"You will go down to the statue of Queen Victoria and explain to her why you are incapable of keeping in step and f###ing up my platoon".
So of the the OCdt marched, his platoon watched on. He marched up the statue, saluted and then started talking to the statue.
The CSgt had the platoon stood easy, watching the scene, as the OCdt stepped back, saluted and marched away to his accomodation.
The Csgt followed the cadet up to his room, where he found him lounging on his bed.
Naturally enraged the CSgt asked if the OCdt had heard what he'd been told to do, the OCdt reply was:
"Yes perfectly Colour, I explained the situation, Queen Victoria said that it didn't matter & that as I'd been working so hard I was to take the rest of the day off"!
Another one was during a platoon inspection, where an OCdt was not well turned out on parade. The CSgt poked him with his pace stick saying
"There's a piece of s##t on the end of my pace stick"
The OCdt looked down at the offending stick & replied
"Not on this end Colour"
As I said apochryphal, but still funny, although I don't tell them that well.
