FreyaCat
Active member
1. The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the robot.
2. While eating dinner, a news item comes on TV about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to pass you the salt.
3. The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your drive test.
4. You've seriously considered shooting someone.
5. You have more barbed wire around your home than Diepkloof Prison.
6. The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
7. People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to make them themselves.
8. You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
9. The Student Union 'dimunds' that academic achievement shouldn't be a criterion for university acceptance, as it is discriminatory.
10. Landlords may not evict illegal squatters unless they offer them alternative accommodation.
11. Protest-marching strikers trash everything in their path and that's okay, but a peaceful gay rights march is condemned.
12. A government Minister is caught driving her car with a forged license, but the case is dropped for "lack of evidence".
13. Government ministers meet with masked gang leaders to ask their advice on how to reduce crime and violence.
14. Scholars protest at the lack of schooling facilities by destroying school buildings.
15. The entire country sees a thug admit on TV news to murdering several people, but the police say they have no case.
16. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
17. Your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.
18. You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
19. People start joking about the crime rate.
20. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
21. You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
22. A 45-year-old engineer is replaced by a 25-year-old who cannot write his own name.
23. The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
24. 10% of the city's population pays for everyone else's electricity and water supply, and get prosecuted if they refuse to pay.
25. The prisoners strike.
26. You can't even go on a business trip to OZ without somebody asking knowingly: Oh, having a look around, are you?
27. The most popular vehicle is a 4X4 designed for driving in snow (the reason for this may be the vast amount of mid-summer snow that you see in all Christmas decorations).
28. People tell you that they wouldn't live anywhere else because the weather is so bad over there.
29. You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer
30. You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
31. You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
32. To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
33. Hijacking cars is a profession.
34. You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light.
35. The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car.
36. More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
37. "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month!
38. You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
39. Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway.
40. You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
41. A bullet train is being introduced but we can't fix potholes.
42. The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
43. You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.
44. You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
45. You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
46. You have a gear lock for your car.
47. You've never seen snow in real life.
Among other things, it’s also “normal” to live behind 6ft electric fencing with automatic gates and armed response panic buttons scattered throughout your house. Your car has a GPS feature installed on purchase and is included as a “standard” along with cdplayer/radio and electric windows and central locking.
2. While eating dinner, a news item comes on TV about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to pass you the salt.
3. The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your drive test.
4. You've seriously considered shooting someone.
5. You have more barbed wire around your home than Diepkloof Prison.
6. The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
7. People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to make them themselves.
8. You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
9. The Student Union 'dimunds' that academic achievement shouldn't be a criterion for university acceptance, as it is discriminatory.
10. Landlords may not evict illegal squatters unless they offer them alternative accommodation.
11. Protest-marching strikers trash everything in their path and that's okay, but a peaceful gay rights march is condemned.
12. A government Minister is caught driving her car with a forged license, but the case is dropped for "lack of evidence".
13. Government ministers meet with masked gang leaders to ask their advice on how to reduce crime and violence.
14. Scholars protest at the lack of schooling facilities by destroying school buildings.
15. The entire country sees a thug admit on TV news to murdering several people, but the police say they have no case.
16. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
17. Your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.
18. You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
19. People start joking about the crime rate.
20. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
21. You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
22. A 45-year-old engineer is replaced by a 25-year-old who cannot write his own name.
23. The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
24. 10% of the city's population pays for everyone else's electricity and water supply, and get prosecuted if they refuse to pay.
25. The prisoners strike.
26. You can't even go on a business trip to OZ without somebody asking knowingly: Oh, having a look around, are you?
27. The most popular vehicle is a 4X4 designed for driving in snow (the reason for this may be the vast amount of mid-summer snow that you see in all Christmas decorations).
28. People tell you that they wouldn't live anywhere else because the weather is so bad over there.
29. You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer
30. You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
31. You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
32. To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
33. Hijacking cars is a profession.
34. You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light.
35. The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car.
36. More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
37. "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month!
38. You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
39. Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway.
40. You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
41. A bullet train is being introduced but we can't fix potholes.
42. The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
43. You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.
44. You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
45. You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
46. You have a gear lock for your car.
47. You've never seen snow in real life.
Among other things, it’s also “normal” to live behind 6ft electric fencing with automatic gates and armed response panic buttons scattered throughout your house. Your car has a GPS feature installed on purchase and is included as a “standard” along with cdplayer/radio and electric windows and central locking.
