Prince Charles and the hooker

BritinBritain

Per Ardua Ad Astra
Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. "One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.

"No! Five pounds!" He said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.
She'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"
He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

One day, Camilla decided to accompany her husband.

As the couple neared the hooker's corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.
As they neared the hooker's corner he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.

Then, the hooker yelled:


"See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard,!"
 
Prince Charles is driving his Land Rover to Sandringham to see his mum. He enters the gate and waves at the guard, just as he pulls onto the driveway he feels a *bump* and a high-pitched howling noise. He quickly stops the car and gets out, to his horror he sees one of his mums Corgis badly crushed under the wheel of the car.

The poor dog is already dead and Prince Charles does not know what to do. His mum will be heart broken and she will be very upset with him.

Just then there was a bright flash and *pooof* a beautiful fairy appeared floating in front of him.

"Who are you?" Asked Prince Charles

"I'm your fairy godmother" she replied in a soft voice "I sensed you were in need and am here to grant you any wish you desire".

"Any wish I desire" repeated Prince Charles What luck!

Well as you can see I just ran over one of mums dogs and she will be most upset. So please, can you bring the doggy back to life?"

The fairy godmother took out her magic wand and walked over to the squashed Corgi and after looking at it for a while she said "It is very errrr, squashed and I'm afraid my fairy magic has its limits you know. Isn't there anything else you desire, another wish I could grant you?"

Prince Charles scratched his head and thought about it for awhile. "Ah ha," he said, "I know what I would like to wish for. Please can you make Camilla as beautiful as Diana was?"

The fairy godmother had a stunned look on her face, she paused for a second, and said, "Well, perhaps I could have another try at the dog."
 
I heard that Camilla came last at the Crufts dog show last year. I heard on the grapevine she is going to enter the ugliest dog section this year. She's bound to win that.
 
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I heard that Camilla came last at the Crufts dog show last year. I heard on the grapevine she is going to enter the ugliest dog section this year. She's bound to win that.

Really? I heard she tried to enter the local competition for the ugliest person in Britain, and was rejected. The reason? They cannot allow professionals to compete!:p:p
 
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