Police Quotes




 
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Police Quotes
 
October 26th, 2005  
tomtom22
 
 

Topic: Police Quotes


Police Quotes
Police Quotes -- The following were heard on police car videos:

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." (CPIC)

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

and the best one . . .

"You didn't think we give tickets to pretty women? You're right, we don't. Sign here''


October 26th, 2005  
AFSteliga
 
 
Very nice.
October 26th, 2005  
Missileer
 
 
Love all of `em.
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Police Quotes
October 26th, 2005  
Springfield
 
 
:P Very good.
October 26th, 2005  
Rob Henderson
 
 
Last one is hilarious...
October 26th, 2005  
Italian Guy
 
 
Yeah last one is too good. Thank you Tomtom, so where do you find all these?
October 26th, 2005  
OORAH
 
 
yea, where do you get these, they are pretty funny


October 26th, 2005  
Navy Boy
 
 
Dang thoes were pretty darn funny.
October 27th, 2005  
xander
 
 
Thats great
October 27th, 2005  
bulldogg