Trooper1854
The Brit Pack
Scientists at an animal research establishment wanted to know how much a pig could be force fed before it exploded.
They took an ordinary pig and plugged up its bum with a big cork. They then started to feed it.
It eat and eat, and grew and grew.
The more it eat, the more it grew. But nothing else happened. After a month the pig was huge! It sat there quite happily chomping away at whatever was placed in front of it.
Eventually, the head scientist admitted defeat and suggested they pulled the cork. Naturally no one volunteered, but a junior technician suggested they train a chimpanzee to do the job so they could monitor the amount of poo created by the pig which would at least give them some data from this otherwise failed experiment.
They obtained a chimp and spent a month training it to pull a cork out of a pig’s bum using a plastic model of a pigs bum. Each time the chimp pulled out the cork, he got a banana. Meanwhile the pig kept eating and growing.
The big day arrived. In an open field they placed the pig, the cage containing the chimp, and at ten meter intervals out to 100 meters they placed scientists to observe the experiment.
At the signal, the nearest scientist opened the cage with the chimp who, seeing the pig’s bum with a cork in it, ran forward to get his banana.
The moment he pulled the cork there was an explosion of pig poo! It surged out like a tsunami of sh#t!
Once the tidal wave had subsided the observers realised that the pig, chimp, and, more worryingly, the nearest observer had disappeared beneath the mass of poop! They ran, then waded, and eventually swam forward to rescue their colleague.
When they found him and dragged him clear, they realised he was laughing hysterically! They initially thought he was in shock from the trauma of nearly drowning in pig poo, but as he recovered his composure they were able to ask “what was so funny?” Between gulps of air and tears he replied:
“You should have seen the chimp trying to put the cork back!”
They took an ordinary pig and plugged up its bum with a big cork. They then started to feed it.
It eat and eat, and grew and grew.
The more it eat, the more it grew. But nothing else happened. After a month the pig was huge! It sat there quite happily chomping away at whatever was placed in front of it.
Eventually, the head scientist admitted defeat and suggested they pulled the cork. Naturally no one volunteered, but a junior technician suggested they train a chimpanzee to do the job so they could monitor the amount of poo created by the pig which would at least give them some data from this otherwise failed experiment.
They obtained a chimp and spent a month training it to pull a cork out of a pig’s bum using a plastic model of a pigs bum. Each time the chimp pulled out the cork, he got a banana. Meanwhile the pig kept eating and growing.
The big day arrived. In an open field they placed the pig, the cage containing the chimp, and at ten meter intervals out to 100 meters they placed scientists to observe the experiment.
At the signal, the nearest scientist opened the cage with the chimp who, seeing the pig’s bum with a cork in it, ran forward to get his banana.
The moment he pulled the cork there was an explosion of pig poo! It surged out like a tsunami of sh#t!
Once the tidal wave had subsided the observers realised that the pig, chimp, and, more worryingly, the nearest observer had disappeared beneath the mass of poop! They ran, then waded, and eventually swam forward to rescue their colleague.
When they found him and dragged him clear, they realised he was laughing hysterically! They initially thought he was in shock from the trauma of nearly drowning in pig poo, but as he recovered his composure they were able to ask “what was so funny?” Between gulps of air and tears he replied:
“You should have seen the chimp trying to put the cork back!”