The Perfect Army

viper2007

Active member
Someone once told me this-

If you want to set up the perfect Army, you need the following-

For Logistics- US

For Officers- The Germans

For NCOs- the British

Enlisted men- the Nepalese, more accurately, the Ghurkas...

How true this is- I don't really know. Perhaps input and comments from fellow forum members can be useful...

What do you think?
 
Someone once told me this-

If you want to set up the perfect Army, you need the following-

For Logistics- US

For Officers- The Germans

For NCOs- the British

Enlisted men- the Nepalese, more accurately, the Ghurkas...

How true this is- I don't really know. Perhaps input and comments from fellow forum members can be useful...

What do you think?

Agree with the logistic, the US have got some amazing kit.

Might be a bit of a language barrier with the officers though.

Maybe when the NCO's are sober, they do like a few :drink::cheers:

If you see a Ghurka stalking you, don't bother to run, you'll only die tired.
 
In the Falklands the Ghurkas didn't get to fight one single battle.
The Argentinians surrendered the moment they knew they were facing them!

From what I hear the Ghurkha's were a bit peeved.

Mind you I'd surrender in a heart beat if they were facing me.
 
Can the Ghurkha come on down to South Florida? PLEASE!!!!!!!!

I know how I can beat them! Sexy women, no cold weather, and all the fine food, alcohol, and tobacco they want.
 
Ghurkha instructors at the Jungle Warfare School refer to the average British pongo as "Noisier then a herd of elephants." and that's when they are trying to be quiet!

They are very special blokes those Ghurkha's, I'm glad they are on our side. Never run away with the idea that most of them are short arse's, one fella I saw once had to be over 6 foot and built like a brick outhouse.
 
Ghurkha instructors at the Jungle Warfare School refer to the average British pongo as "Noisier then a herd of elephants." and that's when they are trying to be quiet!

They are very special blokes those Ghurkha's, I'm glad they are on our side. Never run away with the idea that most of them are short arse's, one fella I saw once had to be over 6 foot and built like a brick outhouse.

Look... I respect them for three reasons.

1. Never underestimate the little guy with a big smile and a big knife.
2. Never underestimate a guy with orders to bring back evidence of the kill... so they cut off the head.
3. If the British Army to this day has them in their armed forces and the Royal Marines and SAS even fear them.... I should fear them too.

I still think I can beat them by distractions.... because in a fight I'd be dead. At least if I can't beat them might as well join them in some drinking and ogling women in little to nothing beachwear. :mrgreen:

Can the UK please set up a base in South Florida for the Ghurkha? If that won't work how about in Bermuda?
 
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In the Falklands the Ghurkas didn't get to fight one single battle.
The Argentinians surrendered the moment they knew they were facing them!

Thats what I heard, too. There was one incident where one Ghurka did was just to flash his Khukri (knife) and he got the Argies to surrender wholesale. Can someone verify this?

There was another story that the Argies went around very concerned when they hears that the Ghurkas were coming to the Falklands as part of the British invading force. They were told that these bunch of guys eat their captives!
 
Can the Ghurkha come on down to South Florida? PLEASE!!!!!!!!

I know how I can beat them! Sexy women, no cold weather, and all the fine food, alcohol, and tobacco they want.

You can have me, Trooper, Mr Brit, Ghostrider and 42RM. We are good substitutes...:horsie:
 
Ghurkha instructors at the Jungle Warfare School refer to the average British pongo as "Noisier then a herd of elephants." and that's when they are trying to be quiet!

They are very special blokes those Ghurkha's, I'm glad they are on our side. Never run away with the idea that most of them are short arse's, one fella I saw once had to be over 6 foot and built like a brick outhouse.

I know what you mean, Mr Brit. When I join the Special Constabulary as a Volunteer (back when I was young and stupid!), we were put through the training at the Old Police Academy. One of the training involves boxing as a sport. I was matched to take on a small little guy. So I thought, "no big deal, I can take this guy down easy".

Just before the bell, someone whispered to my ear- this "small" guy is the Ghurka division champion, 3 years in a row! I was like thinking, "which son of a sea cockroach did this to me?". I can't backed down... so I did the next best thing, I dropped down the moment he landed the first punch! stayed there for the ten count... Unfortunately, my instructor saw the ploy- it was off to clean the loo for the next weekend for me!
 
Ghurkha instructors at the Jungle Warfare School refer to the average British pongo as "Noisier then a herd of elephants." and that's when they are trying to be quiet!

They are very special blokes those Ghurkha's, I'm glad they are on our side. Never run away with the idea that most of them are short arse's, one fella I saw once had to be over 6 foot and built like a brick outhouse.

We have Ghurkas in our Police Force, too. There are about 400 hundred of them. There are part of the Task Force. Some of them have thier families with them, in Singapore.
 
Thats what I heard, too. There was one incident where one Ghurka did was just to flash his Khukri (knife) and he got the Argies to surrender wholesale. Can someone verify this?

There was another story that the Argies went around very concerned when they hears that the Ghurkas were coming to the Falklands as part of the British invading force. They were told that these bunch of guys eat their captives!

Argentine officers did tell some of the conscripted soldiers that Gurkhas did eat their prisoners. They said it to try and make their guys stand and fight rather than run away!
A Falkland farmer went out one night to try and make contact with the advancing British forces, and give them information on the disposition of the Argentine garrison.
He tells how it was a pitch black night, raining, sleeting, snowing with a howling gale blowing, and you could barely see your hand infront of your face.
He was walking forwards slowly when he bumped into something and fell over. Looking up, he saw a set of teeth grinning at him and realised he had run into a Gurkha patrol!
They told him they had been tracking him for a mile, to see if he was friend or foe, but when he fell and swore, like only an Englishman could swear, they knew he was friendly!
 
I was told tales that Ghurkha's during WW2 would approach a sentry at night and feel his bootlaces, if they were straight across (as the British tie their boots), they would tap the chap on the shoulder and wish him goodnight, scaring the crap out of him. If the laces were criss-crossed as the US and Germans tied their boots, they would feel the rim of his helmet, if it was a US helmet, again he'd tap the sentry on the shoulder and wish him good night (almost giving the bloke a heart attack), if it was a German helmet, it was good night for good.

How much of this is true I don't know, but it makes a good scary story, especially if your the enemy facing them lol.

I know that the Japanese were especially terrified of the Ghurkha's.

This was told to me by and ex POW. When Singapore fell, a number of Indian troops went over to the Japanese, the Japanese tried to get the Ghurkha's to also go over. Not one Ghurkha succumbed, when they passed an Indian who did go over, the Ghurkha would draw his finger across his throat, then walk away.
 
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My grandfather told me the story about the shoe laces, so the story has been around a while. He told me they used to pat the guards on the leg and say "you ok tommy."; at which point you presumably knew you were going to live.

This always left me wondering a) how much time the Ghurkas spent crawling around, b) how good at crawling around undetected they were c) how good at directions they must have or have not been in order for them to be doing this to so many british shoe laces d) how the americans and non-UK troops in the same areas must have done their shoe laces up that were any different e) how you would feel with a small hand suddenly feeling your shoes at two am and not know how to react.

Given all of these factors it has also crossed by mind as to how awfully difficult it must be to feel ones shoelaces whilst standing in a slit trench. If we step back and look at it? What real sense does it make to try to attack a man from his feet?

Having said this, there is not doubt how superb a fighting unit the Ghurkas are/were, and how good at patrolling they could be (and presumably sentries did do a bit of standing around outside of trenches at night, and given the terrain in africa/italy it is entirely probable they did quite a bit of stealthy lurking through brush and mountaintops), so I believe the story, I just don't know how often it could have happened in actuality... probably a lot less then it was recounted and it got carried around in the same way the stories about the Ghurkas eating the dead did in the falklands.

All the Gurkhas I have worked with, their Kukri's aren't sharp enough or designed to cut throats etc. They are a chopping weapon/tool not a cutting weapon so to sneek up and cut someones throat silently and disappear into the night would need to be done with another weapon. In my experience they are more used as a tool than a weapon.

What strikes me most about all the Gurkha myths, is that in a way, whether they are true or not doesnt matter - the effect they have on the enemy must be terrifying. Like Spiers said in Band of Brothers, its not a bad thing to have everyone think you're the meanest SOB in the valley.

Look at the Argentinians in the Falklands. They were told drug crazed Gurkhas wielding Kukris were coming for them. Now, if I was a young conscript in that situation, I dont think I would be worrying about if it was true or not...
 
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Myths develop like this for all units, weapons pieces of equipment.
Sometimes its the opposing forces talking up their adversary to show how brave they were in facing them, or why they lost a particular engagement, in the Battle of Britain, all Luftwaffe pilots were shot down by Spitfires, in Normandy everybody cam up against Tiger Tanks or the 88mm Flak.
In the first Gulf was the press were full of BS about the Republican Guard.
There is always truth in these stories, but there is always alot of embelishment also.
Nature of the beast, no one wants to admit to having had the poop kicked out of them by a seven stone weakling!:lol:
 
Argentine officers did tell some of the conscripted soldiers that Gurkhas did eat their prisoners. They said it to try and make their guys stand and fight rather than run away!
A Falkland farmer went out one night to try and make contact with the advancing British forces, and give them information on the disposition of the Argentine garrison.
He tells how it was a pitch black night, raining, sleeting, snowing with a howling gale blowing, and you could barely see your hand infront of your face.
He was walking forwards slowly when he bumped into something and fell over. Looking up, he saw a set of teeth grinning at him and realised he had run into a Gurkha patrol!
They told him they had been tracking him for a mile, to see if he was friend or foe, but when he fell and swore, like only an Englishman could swear, they knew he was friendly!

Man, bumping into a Ghurka patrol at night in the pitch dark, thats like meeting with a ghost! :)
 
Myths develop like this for all units, weapons pieces of equipment.
Sometimes its the opposing forces talking up their adversary to show how brave they were in facing them, or why they lost a particular engagement, in the Battle of Britain, all Luftwaffe pilots were shot down by Spitfires, in Normandy everybody cam up against Tiger Tanks or the 88mm Flak.
In the first Gulf was the press were full of BS about the Republican Guard.
There is always truth in these stories, but there is always alot of embelishment also.
Nature of the beast, no one wants to admit to having had the poop kicked out of them by a seven stone weakling!:lol:

Everyone asks me if I fought Bin Laden himself in the A-Stan.... nope... more then likely a bunch of goat herders and village militia. I'm also asked since I was a Para if I did anything fancy with the Green Berets. Nope.... didn't do anything with them either.

Just a regular guy, in a crappy part of the world, play the age old game of who can kill who and write home to tell about it.

If I can do it all over again.... I'd be a short order cook in a comfy FOB behind the wire with A/C, TV, and Internet.
 
Argentine officers did tell some of the conscripted soldiers that Gurkhas did eat their prisoners. They said it to try and make their guys stand and fight rather than run away!
A Falkland farmer went out one night to try and make contact with the advancing British forces, and give them information on the disposition of the Argentine garrison.
He tells how it was a pitch black night, raining, sleeting, snowing with a howling gale blowing, and you could barely see your hand infront of your face.
He was walking forwards slowly when he bumped into something and fell over. Looking up, he saw a set of teeth grinning at him and realised he had run into a Gurkha patrol!
They told him they had been tracking him for a mile, to see if he was friend or foe, but when he fell and swore, like only an Englishman could swear, they knew he was friendly!

In weather like that, they would hear me swearing before I fell over something. They wouldn't have to track me very far to realise I am an Englishman. "Bloody sodding poxy bloody sodding poxy weather! That's the clean version.
 
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