Patton and the Ranger

brinktk

Active member
General Patton is sitting on a mountaintop and sees an Airborne Ranger rowing a canoe down a stream. All the while the ranger is rowing in cadence

"Airborne Ranger Airborne Ranger where have you been?"

General Patton is a little bored so he decides he's gonna take half of this rangers brain. He points with his mighty General Finger and says "POW!" The Ranger jerks back and to the left in the canoe, shakes it off and sits up a little dumbfounded but remembers what he was doing and continues on.

"Airborne Ranger Airborne Ranger where have you been?"

General Patton wonders if his General Powers are failing but knows better and realizes that Airborne Rangers only need half their brain to enjoy life. He is now interested in how far this can go. He points his mighty General Finger once again and zaps the ranger a second time. He wants to take 3/4 of the rangers brain. This time the ranger falls back in the canoe and has to pick himself up. He looks around and sees the oar he was using to row in the stream. The ranger picks it up and looks at it wondering what it is. After a few moments he realizes what is going on and goes about his way.

"Airborne Ranger Airborne Ranger where have you been?"

This time General Patton is really excited. This Airborne Ranger is functioning on 1/4 of his brain and it doesn't affect him in the least. A little morbid thought creeps into his General Brain and he decides to see what would happen if he takes ALL of this Airborne Rangers brain. He gathers up all of his General Powers and points one last time with his General Finger at this Airborne Ranger and zaps him one last time. The ranger flips backward in the canoe. He's laying facedown and looks like a ragdoll. It takes him a full 10 minutes to remember how to use his arms and lift himself to a sitting position. The ranger looks around and tries to understand what he is seeing. A couple of times he catches his nose in his peripheral vision and tries to eat it. He finally sees the oar he was using a little while ago and picks it up. After hurting himself trying to bite off a piece to eat he decides it isn't food. Another 10 minutes go by before he remembers what the oar is used for. He sits up and lifts his oar for another go.

"From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli..........
 
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Remove it all and you have a Guardsman.

Ah! But you forget about Lieutenant Robert Lawrence, Scots Guards.
He must have had some brains to start with as he had nearly half of them blown out by a sniper on Mount Tumbledown during the Falklands War, and he survived!:shock:
The human body never fails to amaze me!:rock:
 
Ah! But you forget about Lieutenant Robert Lawrence, Scots Guards.
He must have had some brains to start with as he had nearly half of them blown out by a sniper on Mount Tumbledown during the Falklands War, and he survived!:shock:
The human body never fails to amaze me!:rock:

The Scots, they are tough cookies...:cheers:
 
The Scots, they are tough cookies...:cheers:

Not 100% 0n this but I don't think he is Scottish.
In the Guards, especially the Scots, Welsh, and Irish, you don't need to be born there to become an officer in the Regiment.
A mate of mine, born and bred in North London, joined the Royal Regiment of Wales!
And I knew a Royal Anglian who was Scottish!
 
Not 100% 0n this but I don't think he is Scottish.
In the Guards, especially the Scots, Welsh, and Irish, you don't need to be born there to become an officer in the Regiment.
A mate of mine, born and bred in North London, joined the Royal Regiment of Wales!
And I knew a Royal Anglian who was Scottish!

The brother of a mate of mine also from North London joined the army and ended up in an Irish Armoured regiment. He's never been to Ireland in his life, neither does he have Irish in his family tree!

A lot of Welsh, Scots and Irish regiments have Englishmen in them. Maybe as translators.:mrgreen:
 
Not 100% 0n this but I don't think he is Scottish.
In the Guards, especially the Scots, Welsh, and Irish, you don't need to be born there to become an officer in the Regiment.
A mate of mine, born and bred in North London, joined the Royal Regiment of Wales!
And I knew a Royal Anglian who was Scottish!

Now I am a wee bit confused... :confused::confused::confused:
 
Now I am a wee bit confused... :confused::confused::confused:

Ok, stick with me here!
The regiments of the British Army tend to recruit its enlisted men from specific areas that are relevant to the history of the regiment.
Fo example, the Royal Anglian Regiment is an almalgamation of the Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire Regiment, the Lincolnshire Regiment and the regiments of Cambridge, Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex.
The Battalions were closely affiliated to the old regiments, so if you came from Bedfordshire or Hertfordshire, you were likely to end up in the 3rd Battalion (Now disbanded).
The 1st Battalion is made up from Cambridge, Norfolk, Suffolf, and Essex.
Other regiments were tied in with older county regiments, but as progressive governments "adjusted things", more regiments were amalgamated.
If you joined the Army and went Infantry, you were likely to be put in your county affiliated regiment, unless you specified the Parachute Regiment, or a Guards regiment.
However, if you went for a commision, it got complicated! You could apply to any Infantry regiment you wanted to, and as long as they accepted you, and you got through officer training and any other training, such as Parachute Selection training, or P Company for the Parachute Regiment, you could become an officer in your chosen regiment.
If you had a special reason to choose a regiment not usualy associated with the area you lived in, such family tradition as your dad, or grandad may have served with them, you could ask to join them.
The Scottish guy I knew in the Royal Anglians was allowed in because his dad had been an officer in the Regiment but he didn't want a commision.
As Brit said "Welcome to the make up of the British Regiments"
Don't ask me about the Royal Marines, Royal Navy or RAF. I have no idea how they work.:wink:
 
Ok, stick with me here!
The regiments of the British Army tend to recruit its enlisted men from specific areas that are relevant to the history of the regiment.
Fo example, the Royal Anglian Regiment is an almalgamation of the Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire Regiment, the Lincolnshire Regiment and the regiments of Cambridge, Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex.
The Battalions were closely affiliated to the old regiments, so if you came from Bedfordshire or Hertfordshire, you were likely to end up in the 3rd Battalion (Now disbanded).
The 1st Battalion is made up from Cambridge, Norfolk, Suffolf, and Essex.
Other regiments were tied in with older county regiments, but as progressive governments "adjusted things", more regiments were amalgamated.
If you joined the Army and went Infantry, you were likely to be put in your county affiliated regiment, unless you specified the Parachute Regiment, or a Guards regiment.
However, if you went for a commision, it got complicated! You could apply to any Infantry regiment you wanted to, and as long as they accepted you, and you got through officer training and any other training, such as Parachute Selection training, or P Company for the Parachute Regiment, you could become an officer in your chosen regiment.
If you had a special reason to choose a regiment not usualy associated with the area you lived in, such family tradition as your dad, or grandad may have served with them, you could ask to join them.
The Scottish guy I knew in the Royal Anglians was allowed in because his dad had been an officer in the Regiment but he didn't want a commision.
As Brit said "Welcome to the make up of the British Regiments"
Don't ask me about the Royal Marines, Royal Navy or RAF. I have no idea how they work.:wink:

Also different Regiments form "Divisions." For example the Queens Division included the Queens Regiment, The Royal Anglians and the Royal Regiment of Fusiliers. Complicated ain't it? lol

In the RAF we weren't fussy, we took Welsh, Irish and even Jocks! The only only requirement they had to speak English, not Taffy, Paddy or Jockese.

I'll see you Jimmy:box:
 
Ok, stick with me here!
The regiments of the British Army tend to recruit its enlisted men from specific areas that are relevant to the history of the regiment.
Fo example, the Royal Anglian Regiment is an almalgamation of the Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire Regiment, the Lincolnshire Regiment and the regiments of Cambridge, Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex.
The Battalions were closely affiliated to the old regiments, so if you came from Bedfordshire or Hertfordshire, you were likely to end up in the 3rd Battalion (Now disbanded).
The 1st Battalion is made up from Cambridge, Norfolk, Suffolf, and Essex.
Other regiments were tied in with older county regiments, but as progressive governments "adjusted things", more regiments were amalgamated.
If you joined the Army and went Infantry, you were likely to be put in your county affiliated regiment, unless you specified the Parachute Regiment, or a Guards regiment.
However, if you went for a commision, it got complicated! You could apply to any Infantry regiment you wanted to, and as long as they accepted you, and you got through officer training and any other training, such as Parachute Selection training, or P Company for the Parachute Regiment, you could become an officer in your chosen regiment.
If you had a special reason to choose a regiment not usualy associated with the area you lived in, such family tradition as your dad, or grandad may have served with them, you could ask to join them.
The Scottish guy I knew in the Royal Anglians was allowed in because his dad had been an officer in the Regiment but he didn't want a commision.
As Brit said "Welcome to the make up of the British Regiments"
Don't ask me about the Royal Marines, Royal Navy or RAF. I have no idea how they work.:wink:

What about the Royal Green Jackets? Are/were they "regional" too?
 
What about the Royal Green Jackets? Are/were they "regional" too?

I believe the Royal Green Jackets, which are an amalgamation of numerous old Light Infantry Regiments, tend to recruit from the Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire areas, The Ox and Bucks Light Infantry were famous for the glider borne raid on Pegasus Bridge in the early hours of D-Day, led by Major John Howard.
As the regiment is quite an amalgamation of other regiments, its the individual battalions that have "catchment areas" as these battalions are affiliated to the older, disbanded regiments.
 
I believe the Royal Green Jackets, which are an amalgamation of numerous old Light Infantry Regiments, tend to recruit from the Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire areas, The Ox and Bucks Light Infantry were famous for the glider borne raid on Pegasus Bridge in the early hours of D-Day, led by Major John Howard.
As the regiment is quite an amalgamation of other regiments, its the individual battalions that have "catchment areas" as these battalions are affiliated to the older, disbanded regiments.

Thank you,


Scotland has many different regiments, one of the most famous one is the Black Watch, were they recruited all over or "locally"?
 
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