Parents help?

VoDKaMarine

New Member
Well, what should I do?

My parents are against me joining when I graduate. I'm planning on joining the Corps when I graduate and my mom is totally against it. My dad is a different story he wants me to go to college first and then join so that I "could be an officer" is his rational to it. He was in the Philippine Military before for a year until my mom made him leave, surprise surprise for me. I My mom is totally against it, tho for good reason.

Is there a way I could tell her that it's fine to join? I have told her all the things I think recruiters use to butter my mom up. Everything from the 150 jobs and not being always in the frontlines because I could be an analyst or some techie but she still insists that it's dangerous. Her reasons are I think reasons mothers always use, not liking being far away from a child, the danger of the military, and a Filipino twist to it, she doesn't want me to see dead and away because I'm the one and only son.

I really need help with this, I am not the best son by any means. I have talked out to my mom plenty of times, and I have sometimes been a very bad kid. But I don't want to badly hurt my moms feelings when I go and sign up. I am afraid for my mom's health if I go. So is there a way to make her like the idea of me joining? And an add on to this, would be your stories before you joined. Like how did your parents react and what they thought about it before and after you joined.
 
I'm going to be honest and say that if you have the opportunity and means to go to college, you should do so. I talked to a lot of enlisted this past summer, both Navy and Marine Corps, and a large number of them said that if they'd had the choice, they'd have much rather gone officer.
 
Well you've come to the right place for this sort of stuff.

Your dad is right, you should complete your college education first and why don't you look into joining NROTC? Are you currently in college? If they don't have an NROTC program, see what other options are available. Odds are at the least you can join as an enlistedman and then apply for OCS. Ask your recruiter about the fine details behind this. As a junior NCO going to NCO school next month I'll tell you this: it's a lot better to be an officer. If you're in the US military, odds are that as long as you're competent, injury free and patient, odds are you can make Lieutenant Colonel.
Beyond that with the family issue... you got to make your own decisions. I had a very long conflict about this with family (along with other complications which were made worse through family conflict) and what always happened was that I made the decision I would have made YEARS ago much later and with fewer optioins and opportunities. Make your own decisions and take responsibility for them. I'm serious. If you make a bad decision, it actually doesn't feel as bad as listening to someone else against your own will, even if it turns out well.
Because I didn't make my own decisions earlier on, I now have such a slim chance of getting past Captain that it's simply not worth going officer anymore.
Make your own decisions.
But I'd say go officer. It's more challenging but there are more opportunities and if you retire at the rank of Lieutenant Colonel you'll still be young enough to start a second life.
 
Well you've come to the right place for this sort of stuff.

Your dad is right, you should complete your college education first and why don't you look into joining NROTC? Are you currently in college? If they don't have an NROTC program, see what other options are available. Odds are at the least you can join as an enlistedman and then apply for OCS. Ask your recruiter about the fine details behind this. As a junior NCO going to NCO school next month I'll tell you this: it's a lot better to be an officer. If you're in the US military, odds are that as long as you're competent, injury free and patient, odds are you can make Lieutenant Colonel.
Beyond that with the family issue... you got to make your own decisions. I had a very long conflict about this with family (along with other complications which were made worse through family conflict) and what always happened was that I made the decision I would have made YEARS ago much later and with fewer optioins and opportunities. Make your own decisions and take responsibility for them. I'm serious. If you make a bad decision, it actually doesn't feel as bad as listening to someone else against your own will, even if it turns out well.
Because I didn't make my own decisions earlier on, I now have such a slim chance of getting past Captain that it's simply not worth going officer anymore.
Make your own decisions.
But I'd say go officer. It's more challenging but there are more opportunities and if you retire at the rank of Lieutenant Colonel you'll still be young enough to start a second life.

No, I'm 16. And I'm planning on joining, I know it's so far away. I'm a Junior right now, but I want to get my act together. I want to know now which path I'm going to. I'm just so...scared of going to college tho after high school. More school...and I'm afraid that my burning desire to join would fade away.


I'm going to be honest and say that if you have the opportunity and means to go to college, you should do so. I talked to a lot of enlisted this past summer, both Navy and Marine Corps, and a large number of them said that if they'd had the choice, they'd have much rather gone officer.
Well that makes it better.
 
Speaking as someone who has done this already.. I would reccommend the following.

You can join the Marine reserves when you graduate HS. This might make it easier for mom to take.
After bootcamp enroll in college. The marines and federal govt have tuition assistance programs to help pay for college. Once you graduate college you can apply for OCS (some services allow you to do this with as few as 60 credit hours). Once you have your commission you can apply to go active duty. Worst case you will have to get out of the reserves and you can re enlist onto active duty.

My story.
I have been in the Army over 19 years (MSG/E8 ). I have spent 8.5 years on active duty (Active Army and one 2 year deployment) the remainder has been in the Virginia Army Guard. The guard helps with tuition also as the Virginia Guard pays 100% of your tuition (Capped at cost of UVA). This is in addition to the GI Bill money I got and Federal Tuition Assistance. I restarted college in 1996 while married with childrem. Worked fulltime (helth benefits) and went to school fulltime. Wife stayed home with the kids (her choice with my support). I have since graduated and have been working the entire time. It can be done if you desire it strongly enough and if you are willing to ask for help. I considered the officer path but decided that I prefer getting my hands dirty and did not want to go from a respected E6-Staff Sergeant to O1-2nd Lieutenant. My choice and in retrospect if I did this for the money, I should have been an officer.

I couldn;t have done it without the support of my wife.
 
VodkaMarine, just know that once you enter the real world, it's really hard to get your degree. It's doable, but especially if you're military it's going to be real hard. If I were you, I'd complete the college first. It's going to give you more options and make the officer track a lot more realistic.
I'd pick a university that's got an NROTC program.
 
Well, what should I do?

My parents are against me joining when I graduate. I'm planning on joining the Corps when I graduate and my mom is totally against it. My dad is a different story he wants me to go to college first and then join so that I "could be an officer" is his rational to it. He was in the Philippine Military before for a year until my mom made him leave, surprise surprise for me. I My mom is totally against it, tho for good reason.

Is there a way I could tell her that it's fine to join? I have told her all the things I think recruiters use to butter my mom up. Everything from the 150 jobs and not being always in the frontlines because I could be an analyst or some techie but she still insists that it's dangerous. Her reasons are I think reasons mothers always use, not liking being far away from a child, the danger of the military, and a Filipino twist to it, she doesn't want me to see dead and away because I'm the one and only son.

I really need help with this, I am not the best son by any means. I have talked out to my mom plenty of times, and I have sometimes been a very bad kid. But I don't want to badly hurt my moms feelings when I go and sign up. I am afraid for my mom's health if I go. So is there a way to make her like the idea of me joining? And an add on to this, would be your stories before you joined. Like how did your parents react and what they thought about it before and after you joined.


I'm 17 and am enlisting into the USMC right after high school and the only way I got my mom to sign the papers for the delayed entry program is by taking her into the recruiting office and having her sit in on my talks with the recruiter there so she could see how much I wanted this...I'm only planing on staying in for a little while though maybe 8-12 years max because I plan on doing college then joining NCIS...but I have to agree with some of these other people if you want to be treated the best and have the money go to college first don't enlist outa HS but if you know that enlisting is the way you want to go then do it...
 
I'm 17 and am enlisting into the USMC right after high school and the only way I got my mom to sign the papers for the delayed entry program is by taking her into the recruiting office and having her sit in on my talks with the recruiter there so she could see how much I wanted this...I'm only planing on staying in for a little while though maybe 8-12 years max because I plan on doing college then joining NCIS...but I have to agree with some of these other people if you want to be treated the best and have the money go to college first don't enlist outa HS but if you know that enlisting is the way you want to go then do it...

If you plan on doing 8-12 you should consider joining the National Guard. This would allow you to continue to accumulate retirement points and eventually get a retirement in addition to your civilian retirement.

13th redneck is right. College is doable after you join the real world, HOWEVER it is a lot harder once you have other (read family) obligations. I did it, but is wasn't easy.
 
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