42RM
Banned
All of our company officers played a joke on our Company Quartermaster Sergeant yesterday. He had just gone to the doctor for his annual checkup, so while he was away, we got our hands on a medical requisition and made one up for him. It was written like this:
Patient: Staff Sergeant XXX
Date: 22 February 2012
Procedure: Optrectomy
This memo is to inform you that your Optrectomy has been scheduled at the out patients center at the Medical centre on 23 February 2012. Please be advised that this is a surgical procedure so you are not to eat or drink anything after Midnight 22 February 2012. As Dr. Buttons explained to you, you will be under a mild sedative and after the procedure has been completed, you will be able to return home following a short recovery time. Usually within 2 hours. Please arrange to have someone ready to take you home when you are discharged.
An Optrectomy is a common procedure and Dr. Buttons has performed many. The purpose of this procedure is to sever the cord that connects your eyeballs to your a$$hole and therefore remove your shitty outlook on life!
Signed: Medical Staff
This man read the first paragraph of the memo and was ranting around the office....What Optrectomy??? The doctor never told me of any operation!!! He did not read the last paragraph and was on the phone to the doctors office to question the memo....but when he saw everyone pi$$ing themselves laughing, he knew he was had!
His reaction after reading the entire form was worth a fortune. Then he busted out aloud:
You Sirs; You're all a bunch of :cens: bastards!
Patient: Staff Sergeant XXX
Date: 22 February 2012
Procedure: Optrectomy
This memo is to inform you that your Optrectomy has been scheduled at the out patients center at the Medical centre on 23 February 2012. Please be advised that this is a surgical procedure so you are not to eat or drink anything after Midnight 22 February 2012. As Dr. Buttons explained to you, you will be under a mild sedative and after the procedure has been completed, you will be able to return home following a short recovery time. Usually within 2 hours. Please arrange to have someone ready to take you home when you are discharged.
An Optrectomy is a common procedure and Dr. Buttons has performed many. The purpose of this procedure is to sever the cord that connects your eyeballs to your a$$hole and therefore remove your shitty outlook on life!
Signed: Medical Staff
This man read the first paragraph of the memo and was ranting around the office....What Optrectomy??? The doctor never told me of any operation!!! He did not read the last paragraph and was on the phone to the doctors office to question the memo....but when he saw everyone pi$$ing themselves laughing, he knew he was had!
His reaction after reading the entire form was worth a fortune. Then he busted out aloud:
You Sirs; You're all a bunch of :cens: bastards!
