Pacific Lure
Active member
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
What's the worthless piece of skin hanging off the end of a *****?
A man.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE - He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
What's a man's idea of a romantic evening?
A candlelit football stadium.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are men like guns?
Keep one around long enough, and eventually you're going to want to shoot it.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
How is a man like an over-ripe banana?
There are no wrong answers to this one, gals.
Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.
Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
Men are like newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.
Men are like computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
Men are like power tools. They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.
Who cares?
What's the worthless piece of skin hanging off the end of a *****?
A man.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE - He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
What's a man's idea of a romantic evening?
A candlelit football stadium.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are men like guns?
Keep one around long enough, and eventually you're going to want to shoot it.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
How is a man like an over-ripe banana?
There are no wrong answers to this one, gals.
Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.
Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
Men are like newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.
Men are like computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
Men are like power tools. They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.
