No Fun after 23?

Here's Bob Hope's take on age and life in general.

Bob Hope -

May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003



ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill".

ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit
needs pressing."

ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more
than the cake."

ON TURNING 100 " I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until
noon. Then it's time for my nap."

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING "I ruined my hands in the ring ...
the referee kept stepping on them."

ON SAILORS "They spend the first six days of each week sowing their wild
oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure."

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's
called at my home, 'Passover'."

ON GOLF "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green
fees."

ON PRESIDENTS " I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only
six."

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER " When I was born, the doctor said
to my mother, 'Congratulations.You have an
eight-pound ham'."

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL "I feel very humble, but I
think I have the strength of character to fight it."

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it
got cold, mother threw on another brother."

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the
bathroom."

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES " I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't
fo r the stuff the audience threw at me."

ON GOING TO HEAVEN "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to
blow the hereafter on a technicality."
 
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