New Stock Market Terms

New Stock Market Terms
October 23rd, 2008  
Team Infidel

Topic: New Stock Market Terms

New Stock Market Terms
In order to keep your sense of humor in these times (laughter is the best medicine)

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
October 23rd, 2008  
October 24th, 2008  
Very nice!!
New Stock Market Terms
October 24th, 2008  
A Can of Man
I swear... just when I thought I had heard all the euphemisms, the finance industry has the best ones!
Subprime ... who would have thought Subprime would be a nice way to say "Pile of sh*t!"
March 11th, 2009  

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