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July 27th, 2006
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Topic: New Navy Ship
Sunday July 2nd '06 Vancover BC Headed for Seattle, WA The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.  Pictured above: The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port ofVancouver, BC. The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to PresidentBill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck but form a very menacing presence. As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20-person crew is completely diversified and includes members of all races, creeds, sex and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs. An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere. The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense - but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of. It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World". The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken. |
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July 27th, 2006
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lmao
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July 27th, 2006
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Lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!
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July 27th, 2006
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LMAO!!!
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July 27th, 2006
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That's interesting.
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July 28th, 2006
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LMAO Hilarious!!
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July 28th, 2006
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lol wow!
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August 18th, 2006
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I thought the USS William J. Clinton would be a long black cigar looking submarine?
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August 18th, 2006
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LOL.. Very Nice.
How about the The Clinton Library ... "looks" like it belongs in a trailer park ...or is it a houseboat (U.S.S. Lewinsky) gone aground? 
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