New Englanders

August 11th, 2005  

Topic: New Englanders

Forget Rednecks ... here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say on New Englanders:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you might live in New England.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and Boston gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you live in New England.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England. (we don't even have real's "whippy dip")

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

"Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching! .

You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction. TOOOO TRUE

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

"Down South" to you mean Philadelphia.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed. (...pig pen et al)

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends
August 11th, 2005  
Charge 7
As you come into Vermont from Massachusetts in Pownall is a sign that's been there for years. It says:

"Welcome to Vermont! We have 9 months of hard winter and 3 months of poor skiing!"

BTW, I hit four deer in one year some years back.

Oh and "down south" is actually anyplace below Rutland.
August 11th, 2005  
Must be a nice place this New England.
August 11th, 2005  
Charge 7
As we say up here, "Ay-YUH!"
August 12th, 2005  
rotc boy
god i miss new england, theres just no one with as much common sense down here, it rains down here and traffic comes to a stop. its just a drizzle people, you dont have to slam on the brakes!
and my friend doesnt have jumper cables in his car, and im sick of driving out to him every friggin time
August 12th, 2005  
I just got back from Cow Hampshire and MA. I've been away for about a year but it felt as if I'd never left. I took a walk down the street where I used to live and saw some of the old neighbors and they still didn't say hi. Ah, some things will never change
I'll admit that I do miss the place but I do not miss the snow whatsoever. I always felt it was nice to look at through a window from a warm house. I spent a day down the Cape and that's always nice. Maybe one day I'll buy a condo there and become an official snow bird
Good list Tomtom
August 19th, 2005  
i just moved to new england from sunny florida, and i'm already starting to see myself do some of these things. of course, in new england, everything shuts down for a thunderstorm (as in no pizza delivery), and i just dont understand that. but then again, i'm probably the slowest driver in the snow.
August 20th, 2005  
rotc boy
no pizza delivery? in a snow storm? what part of new england are you living in?! i have always been able to get a pizza delivered, no matter what the weather, and a thunderstorm means, drive faster, gotta get out of this horrible weather!
August 21st, 2005  
C/2nd Lt Robot
I always thought a thunderstorm meant bike riding.
August 22nd, 2005  
rotc boy
naw, blizzard is for bike rides, thunderstorm is for taking a leisurely stroll